As of yesterday morning, Prince Frederic von Anhalt's bid for L.A. mayor is being broadcast to thousands of cars and pedestrians along Sunset Boulevard. Causing even more crashes than usual, we're sure, for the first rainy day of the year. (Now that's what you call blight.)
And here we were worried about Sarah Palin! Please, please, please Los Angeles: Voting Arnold into office was hilarious, really. But as far as joke celebrity candidates go, putting the nation's second-largest city, especially in its current state of totally screwed, into the hands of someone who ditches his dying wife's bedside for Hollywood shenanigans, would be way not funny.
You thought current Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa was bad. (See: Ticketgate.) Based on his track record, the prince would probably reschedule the Oscars for every other Friday, and give himself a throne centerstage.
Still, he's pretending he has real issues. He tells TMZ he wants to “create jobs, end homeless [that's the word he used] and encourage illegals to get legal. … 400,000 people out of jobs and 40,000 homeless. I see people eating out of trash cans everyday. This must end.”
So, the real question: Does someone who tells legals to “get legal” (wow) have a legit chance to win? L.A.'s political analysts aren't answering our phone calls, likely due to the ridiculousness of our question, but LA Weekly political writer Gene Maddaus tells us, equally annoyed that we would even ask, that Von Anhalt's likelihood of becoming mayor can be compared to Maddau's own likelihood of cutting a best-selling rap album.
We've never heard Maddaus rap, and we're going to keep it that way. Now if only we could un-see that Sunset Strip billboard of Von A-Hole, as TMZ calls him.
Another good sign: 83 percent of TMZ readers say there's no way they'd vote for him. (Too bad TMZ readers don't vote in real elections.)
But anyway, on good faith in the people of Los Angeles, we're just going to declare a dead loss now. If you're interested in learning about the actual candidates — including the likely winner, Zev Yaroslavsky — read LA Weekly's preview to the 2013 mayoral race. Politics!