Our once-worshipped POTUS has a lot of hearts to recapture before the 2012 election. Like a bad ex that keeps coming back to convince us we still love him (OK, fine, we kind of still do; how cute is he in the donut meme???), Obama's making the U.S.A. rounds like a madman these days.

Seems like only a couple weeks ago that he was schmoozing in West Hollywood, clogging Sunset Strip traffic all the way out to the Eastside. And that's 'cause it was!

Still, our fearless leader's coming back for more as soon as October 24, according to the Hollywood Reporter. And this time, he's got his sights set on the nation's fastest-growing voter base: The Latinos.

Here we go again. Only thing more terrible than Obama's track record for getting the American people to love him is his track record for getting Latinos to love him. The more he tries — aka, an extended pilgrimage to Latin America during the height of the Japan and Libya chaos, exotically clothed wife in tow — the more they resent him.

And for good cause. Unlike Berkeley students, who can be won over with a fly Shepard Fairey portrait, it appears Latinos can smell an articulate bleeding heart's BS when he slings it at them. Like, don't worry, we won't deport you! *Pause for applause.* Oh wait, yes we will.

Anyway, the event at hand:

President Barack Obama will return to Los Angeles on Monday, Oct. 24 for a national fundraising gala specifically soliciting Latino support. No location has been set for the event, but invitations will go out shortly, asking potential donors to save the date. Among the co-hosts are news anchor Giselle Fernandez and attorney Manny Sanchez.

The event is being organized by the Futuro Fund, a group of Hispanic Obama supporters from across the country. Donations to attend the gala range from $1,250 to $35,800.

Which brings us to Obama's key error when it comes to the “reach out to Latinos” bullet point on his campaign agenda.

The only Latinos he ever reaches out to are whitewashed, unnaturally hot celebs like

Eva Longoria and Rosario Dawson, and traitorous bureaucrats like L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. We're not sure where the latest L.A. gala will be held, but at over $1,000 a plate, we're guessing it won't be in Inglewood.

Do yourself a favor, man, and stop by some of the neighborhoods where people actually need your Jobs Act. (And don't even think about using the Occupy L.A. encampment to advertise it for you.) The Latinos of, say, southeast Los Angeles could definitely benefit from some face-time, so as not to accidentally vote for Mitt Romney in response to your dismal excuse for “immigration reform.”

And speaking of that — maybe just ditch all these jet-set shenanigans (and spare us the #ObamaTraffic) for some work on the border situation itself. We're no political strategists, but nothing could warm the collective Latino heart like doing the job you promised.

Marijuana-wise, too, while you're at it.


LA Weekly