By Ryan Pfeffer
It seems everything these days is in danger of being rendered useless by the internet. The mighty blue Blockbuster fell to Netflix. Bookstores were chewed up and spit out by Amazon. And now the U.S. Postal Service's only job is to make sure Chris Christie never runs out of Oreos.
|Pictured above (left to right) are Ferguson and Waffles. Shortly after this picture was taken, Ferguson tried to kill me.|
|Oh, I hate him already.|
Cheesing his way into the hearts of a couple of young ladies, Rian went 2-for-13. Not a bad showing. There were many who didn't respond to the poor guy, and I must have swiped right on a hundred girls before finding someone willing to give the kitten lover a chance.
All in all, Douche Bag Ryan went 1-for-27, and Rian went 7-for-29, with two maybes.
And if you're still mad, take comfort in the fact that I, the real Ryan, don't have a Valentine's Day date either. But you won't find me online. No, I'm going to try to go outside and actually talk to you people. It's not going to be pretty.