Inspired by the mammary zeitgeist we were curious as to whether we could actually cook an entire breast-themed meal.
Shopping for ingredients required a trip to at least three sex shops — and a really fancy grocery store — but finally we found them at a store next to The Condor, the world's oldest topless bar in San Francisco.
–“Titaroni,” from the “Areola” region of Italy.
–Boob Shaped Ice Tray
–Body Frosting (for um dessert)
For the “Boob Cubes”:
We froze the cranberry juice first for a more realistic effect. Then layered with the lemonade.
Then chilled like a normal ice cube. To spectacular effect.
Boob Cubes in cocktail glass. Tasty.
For the “Titty Alfredo”:
–20 ounces “Titaroni” pasta
–1/4 cup butter
–1 cup heavy cream (the Titaroni box says to use a “D cup of breast milk.” We thought a sub would be okay here)
–1 clove garlic, crushed
–1 1/2 cups freshly grated Parmesan cheese
–1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
We melted the butter in a medium saucepan over medium low heat, then added the cream and other ingredients in order of appearance (parsley last), mixing thoroughly.
Surprisingly, the boob shaped pasta was great al dente and the dish looked spectacular on the plate.
And for dessert:
That's right, body frosting. We didn't even bother putting it on a cake. Wink, wink.