9 Most Useful Items in a Tornado

1 Scissors

2 Compass

3 Chair

4 Camera

5 Second, smaller tornado

6 Finnegans Wake

7 Endorphins

8 Bobbing-head ceramic

9 Soy milk

—Dave Shulman

Wasted in L.A.

How Much the
City Trashed
in 2003

Black (garbage):
786,316 tons

Green (yard waste):
415,440 tons

Blue (recycling):
225,128 tons

—Michael Hoinski

7 L.A. Birdcalls

1 “ZZZzzzzzzzzzzrree.”

2 “Whooo! Whoo-whoo-whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”

3 “Tok.”

4 “Killy, killy, killy, killy.”

5 “Po-tato chip,” as well as “baybee.”

6 “Cheerily cheer-up cheerio.”

7 “Quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack.”

(The birds: 1. The Pine Siskin, 2. Great Horned Owl,

3. Common Raven, 4. American Kestrel, 5. American Goldfinch, 6. American Robin, 7. Mallard)

—Kate Wolf

3 Haikus About Squirrels

no hesitation
fence racing from pole to pole
tumbling one will fall

diligent, frantic
all acorns must be buried
tamp tamp tamp tamp tamp

seven o’clock, roof
eleven o’clock, back yard
three o’clock, pine tree

—Bill Smith

Little Offense,
Lots of Calories

Food consumed atDodger Stadium this SEASON

• 2.2 million hot dogs

• 3 million ounces of peanuts

• 1.7 million sodas

• 300,000 burgers

• 275,000 French fries

• 100,000 bags of cotton candy

—Jon Alain Guzik

The Animals

• Number of dogs licensed in city of Los Angeles

(as of December 1): 240,163

• Estimated number of dogs — licensed and unlicensed —

in L.A.: 665,000

• Estimated number of cats and dogs microchipped
this year by L.A. city animal services: 17,630

• Projected number of animals (including dogs, cats, birds,
reptiles and small rodents) to have been euthanized
in 2003 by L.A. city animal services: 33,6000

—Kate Wolf

States Having More Registered Automobiles Than Los Angeles County (5.2 Million)

Pennsylvania (6.2 million)

Illinois (6.4 million)

Ohio (6.7 million)

New York (7.6 million)

Texas (7.7 million)

Florida (8.9 million)

California excluding L.A. (14.6 million)

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