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9 Most Useful Items in a Tornado

1 Scissors


2 Compass


3 Chair


4 Camera


5 Second, smaller tornado


6 Finnegans Wake


7 Endorphins


8 Bobbing-head ceramic
tchotchke


9 Soy milk


—Dave Shulman


Wasted in L.A.


How Much the
City Trashed
in 2003


Black (garbage):
786,316 tons


Green (yard waste):
415,440 tons


Blue (recycling):
225,128 tons

—Michael Hoinski



7 L.A. Birdcalls


1 “ZZZzzzzzzzzzzrree.”


2 “Whooo! Whoo-whoo-whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”


3 “Tok.”


4 “Killy, killy, killy, killy.”


5 “Po-tato chip,” as well as “baybee.”


6 “Cheerily cheer-up cheerio.”


7 “Quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack.”


(The birds: 1. The Pine Siskin, 2. Great Horned Owl,

3. Common Raven, 4. American Kestrel, 5. American Goldfinch, 6. American Robin, 7. Mallard)


—Kate Wolf



3 Haikus About Squirrels



no hesitation
fence racing from pole to pole
tumbling one will fall


diligent, frantic
all acorns must be buried
tamp tamp tamp tamp tamp


seven o’clock, roof
eleven o’clock, back yard
three o’clock, pine tree


—Bill Smith



Little Offense,
Lots of Calories


Food consumed atDodger Stadium this SEASON


• 2.2 million hot dogs


• 3 million ounces of peanuts


• 1.7 million sodas


• 300,000 burgers


• 275,000 French fries


• 100,000 bags of cotton candy


—Jon Alain Guzik


The Animals


• Number of dogs licensed in city of Los Angeles


(as of December 1): 240,163


• Estimated number of dogs — licensed and unlicensed —


in L.A.: 665,000


• Estimated number of cats and dogs microchipped
this year by L.A. city animal services: 17,630


• Projected number of animals (including dogs, cats, birds,
reptiles and small rodents) to have been euthanized
in 2003 by L.A. city animal services: 33,6000


—Kate Wolf


States Having More Registered Automobiles Than Los Angeles County (5.2 Million)


Pennsylvania (6.2 million)


Illinois (6.4 million)


Ohio (6.7 million)


New York (7.6 million)


Texas (7.7 million)


Florida (8.9 million)


California excluding L.A. (14.6 million)