The Book Expo America convention has come and gone. Here are 12 things I saw on the last day, in absolutely no order whatsoever.

1. The Independent Publishers Group Alley

Standing strong!

2. Self Help Books on Murder and Drugs

“Buy your kids educational toys. Like a metric scale and tiny baggies.”

3. People dragging huge bags of books. Wheeled carts: Shoulda. Woulda. Coulda.

4. The Next Generation of Book Nerd Technology

This gadget is called a Playaway. Its interface is the unsexiest thing you'll ever touch. It costs upwards of $29.99 per title and is perfect for libraries because it's nearly indestructible. It's dorkier than the Kindle, yet somehow still cooler. I'm a Kindle hater. This Goosebumps title is hot off the presses.

5. Winnie Cooper Teaches Math!

Remember Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years? She's got some math books coming out. Talk about sexy nerds.

6. The Olsen Twins…Do Not Teach Math.

Guess who else has/have a book coming out. MK and A.

7. Gigantic Circus Book that Will Crush Your Coffee Table Into Oblivion

From the Taschen booth. Producers of gorgeous books that take coffee table literature to the next level and challenge our preconceptions of what size book shelves should be.

8. Last Gasp Publishing

The awesomest name for a publishing house I've ever encountered. They'd like you to know they are producing Gary Baseman's new book of paintings “Dying of Thirst,” as well as some books on Tintin.

9. A Globe Bigger Than Mars

Not really. But it's pretty damn big. It costs $12,000 but was on sale for $8,000. Its applications include sitting in lobbies of big buildings and not fitting through the door to your house. Notice how I cleverly turned it to face North America as an homage to, well, the Book Expo America.

10. New Pink and Green Moleskines!

The only thing wrong with Moleskines was that they didn't come in pink. Problem solved. Do you have a Moleskine addiction, too? The woman who manned their booth had to keep apologizing to people who were asking for free samples. “Sorry, they're just for display.” Ah, phooey.

11. Buddhist Monks

My mother (yes, I brought my mother–mothers are ultimately the only ones who will agree to accompany you on a perfectly lovely Sunday afternoon to such events as a convention of BOOKS) said “They're probably promoting some self-help books.” Are monks allowed to promote things?

12. Hand Jobs

It's not what you think…unless you were thinking about a book of hand-drawn typefaces from Princeton Architectural Press.

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