We don't usually concern ourselves with all the weird inbred stuff going on in Riverside County, but this tale of elected-official-gone-awry is too absurd to pass up.

Mike Rios, 42, a member of the Moreno Valley School Board, has just set the record for sketchiest school-board member of all time.

He was already in the running before yesterday, what with attempted-murder charges…

… stemming from a hick-town nightclub brawl in February. (He allegedly fired a gun at two guys after they followed him home from the club, where they'd all been fighting over some chick. Classy.)

But as of April 4, according to the Riverside Press-Enterprise, Rios can add two felony counts of “rape by force or fear,” as well as “three counts of pimping and six counts of pandering” for “persuading or encouraging four women and two underage girls to work for him as a prostitute,” to his resume.

Kind of makes us feel better about our own LAUSD board members, who are completely puppeted by unions/whoever is padding their campaign accounts, but who at least haven't taken to, uh, pimping on the weekends.

Rios' latest mugshot.; Credit: Riverside County Sheriff's Department via Patch

Rios' latest mugshot.; Credit: Riverside County Sheriff's Department via Patch

Of the four adult women and two girls that Rios allegedly tried to pimp, only three of the adults actually became his prostitutes, says the Riverside County District Attorney's report.

But it wasn't for lack of effort. The public official allegedly used Internet ads to hunt his prey, even once touting his position on the Moreno Valley School Board. According to the D.A., Rios offered up his Hummer as a job perk to both juveniles, and told one she could use his home as well.

Not sure how that would work, seeing as he has two kids and a wife. Oh! Speaking of the wife, and speaking of sketchiness, 39-year-old Dora Landaverde doesn't have the squeakiest record, either. From a heartbreaking Press-Enterprise report on their two abandoned children:

Landaverde was arrested Sept. 20, as part of a nationwide ICE enforcement action focusing on convicted criminal aliens. ICE targeted Landaverde based upon a prior felony drug conviction, which led to her deportation in the late 1990s. Landaverde served 270 days in an Orange County jail in 1996 and three years probation after pleading guilty to the sale or transport of marijuana, court records show.

But here's the No. 1 way you know this guy is sketchy, even if his charges haven't been proven yet: In March, after the shooting, the local Moreno Valley chapter of the Democratic Party abandoned the candidate and filed for a recall.

The Democrats don't often just drop one of their own like this. Not even sketchmaster Scott Svonkin — the San Gabriel School Board member who shoots food out of his mouth when he yells at constituents, among other personality problems.

So Rios must have really screwed up.

Indeed, on top of the attempted-murder allegations, the Democratic Club of Moreno Valley said there were “also concerns Rios does not sufficiently participate in school board discussions.”

Oh, you mean he also doesn't do his job? Shucks. (How did this guy get elected again?)

Multiple slam sites against Rios detected something sketchy about the school-board member long before the D.A. got wind. However, almost more embarrassing is Rios' own blog, on which he announced in January that he would be running for City Council. But first, he had a message for the haters:

“Declaration of War” very harsh words, but that is exactly what the “Special Interest” have done by going after the true voice and only voice for the people of Moreno Valley. The “Special Interest” have done many things against me to try their best to discredit me in any way possible to try to stop me from returning full power back to the people of Moreno Valley. Here are just a few of the things they have done and FAILED!!!!

(1) Falsely accusing me of being a (Child Molester) during the 2010 campaign by the way (8) people ran and I came in first place! Special Interest FAILED!!!! (2) Falsely accusing me that I had (FELONIES) on my record! I took a Department of Justice fingerprint background check through the MVUSD no criminal history or felonies! Special Interest FAILED AGAIN!!!! (3) Falsely accusing me of (Voter Fraud) no evidence of facts have ever been presented to the District Attorney or in any court of law! Special Interest FAILED AGAIN!!!! (4) Special Interest have decided that since there lies and deceit are having no effect on me they have crossed the line breaking the “CODE OF ETHICS” and deliberately going after members of my family! This is where the “Special Interest” have declared war against the voice of the people and for that I must not lose sight that I will not rest until full power is restored back to the people! I will never do what the “Special Interest” want from me resign, give up, quit, go away, and say screw the people! Never will that happen I will never bow down to the “special interest” as long as I live and I only answer to the “People” and that will never change “EVER”. One more thing “Special Interest” Mayor Richard Stewart, Council members Jessie Molina and Marcelo Co voted to block me from running for city council in Nov 2012. Guess what you can block me, but you can't stop me so to all (3) of you KISS MY ASS you scared little boys Mike Rios is back and I'm taking “NO PRISONERS”!!!!! May God have mercy on all of you for the sins that you have committed against “The People of Moreno Valley”!

So there you have it — the grand finale. Not only has this school-board member been accused of attempted murder, rape, pimping and pandering, but his grammar is 100 percent abysmal.

For the sake of the children whose futures lie in the hands of the Moreno Valley School District, let's hope the D.A.'s got something solid on Rios, reigning king of taxpayer-funded sketchiness.

[@simone_electra / swilson@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]

LA Weekly