Remember the guy who ejaculated into a SoCal coworkers water bottle not once but twice?

Michael Kevin Lallana was convicted of misdemeanor battery and was ordered to serve a six-month sentence. That's old news. The issue here is that he appealed the ruling, questioning the concept of battery in regard to spiking someone's water with human protein.

As heinous as it sounds, his attorneys had a point:

There was no direct “battery” or touching involved. Yet late last week the Fourth District Court of Appeal in Santa Ana upheld the conviction, according to City News Service.

It's an interesting argument, and we now have to wonder if scatological frat-house pranks and spitting in one's hamburger now ranks as battery. (Or is there something transformative about this particular bodily fluid?).

The court might have set a precedent. Here's what it said:

The essence of the crime is an unconsented, offensive, physical contact. In addition, that offensive contact between the aggressor and the victim need not be direct, but rather 'Can be done indirectly by causing an object to touch the other person.''

The judges added that Lallana's actions constituted “use of force or violence.”

We're guessing then, that spit really is a weapon.

[@dennisjromero / / @LAWeeklyNews]

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