The strong and talented Mark Wahlberg, once known as the shirtless and muscular Marky Mark, was photographed running out of a Miami sex shop holding a fake fuckable vagina and extra-large set of anal beads.


Odds are he had some greater movie-related purpose for the purchase, but I prefer to assume that Wahlberg — whom I'll refer to simply as Marky — took a break from filming “Pain and Gain” with fellow meat head The Rock to pick up the rubber inflatable redhead and oversize bulbous butt plug for a cozy night in.

Marky, famous for a myriad movie roles, the names of which slip my mind (he's holding anal beads for Pete's sake), is most famous in my heart for his (and the Funky Bunch's) 1991 heartfelt ballad “Good Vibrations.” That song taught me how to masturbate to music.

Now for those of you anxious to shop for the exact same sex toys Marky's pictured holding, let me advise:

In his left hand lies the April Flores Voluptuous Cyberskin Pussy, an exact mold of the BBW porn star's meaty vagina and a fun, floppy prop to play Hot Potato with at slumber parties, bar mitzvahs and college graduations.

In his right hand are a set of Caucasian-colored anal beads from the glittery mind of drag queen superstar Chi Chi LaRue, who owns her own sex shop in the heart of West Hollywood. These beads are part of a series devoted to LaRue's gay porn studio, Rascal Video.

So as you can see, Marky's got good taste. Eclectic taste.

Wanna see what him caught in the act? Click here!

LA Weekly