Something to think about:
If you found yourself holding a pair of scissors to the throat of some terrified woman in the middle of the Whittier Public Library — the world officially your oyster — what would you ask for?
Whatever your answer, 30-year-old Ignacio Gabriel Munoz had you beat last Tuesday, rattling off a wish list of hostage demands that would put a Somali pirate to shame.
After getting a random library-goer right where he wanted her, “tightly on his lap with the scissors pointed at her neck,” here's what Munoz told the world his heart most desired:
- One pound of kush. (That's marijuana to you, square; the really really good stuff. Not exactly the kind of thing a public library has lying around, though.)
- A car.
- A Playstation 3, attached to said car.
- For the Mexican Army to come pick him up from the library. (What?)
Disappointingly for Munoz, it was the LAPD who showed up in place of the Mexican Army, delivering him a painful beanbag round to the face instead of the long hard toke he was craving. Bummer.
Once in police custody, Whittier PD spokesman Mike Dekowski says Munoz was transported to city jail, where he was still “screaming some weird stuff … some obscenities, things about Mexico, stuff about cartels.” Only consistency: “There was no rhyme or reason to what he was saying at all.”
Via City News Service:
[Munoz] is charged with one count each of kidnapping for ransom, false imprisonment of a hostage and second-degree commercial burglary and two counts each of assault with a deadly weapon and criminal threats.
Prosecutors will ask that his bail be set at $1 million. If convicted, he faces up to life in prison, according to the District Attorney's Office.
And the Whittier Police Department has some good news to the draw the curtains on the freakshow: “Fortunately, the female victim was unharmed during this extremely violent incident.” Glad to hear it. Now back to your Jane Austen, ladies.