Born-and-bred Angeleno Taylor Negron has fled to New York, but he's back in town gracing us with his deft comic stories at Beth Lapides' UnCabaret, which also features Jen Kober, Zach Sherwin on the bill.

LA WEEKLY: You've abandoned us for NYC — why?

TAYLOR NEGRON: My parents are native New Yorkers, and I was brought up with the myth of city told and retold. Stick ball, subway trains and brownstones were drilled into me. I always spoke faster than the other kids In Glendale and had a bit of an accent So I feel I have returned home
Also, in America no one takes you seriously unless you reinvent yourself.

What do you do all day?

I can look at paintings and sculpture all day. and then there's Alice Tully Hall at night. I love that Cleopatra's needle, an Ancient Egyptian obelisk, is the middle of Central Park. Unprotected. Purloined. I go there each morning and do my squats and practice my hieroglyphics
I am mega busy. Too busy. I directed a play here that ran for a year and half and now I am developing theatrical events and have a bunch of spoken word shows on the Lower East Side
Most of the time is spent reading and writing my new play — a one person show where I play Jacqueline Kennedy, based on the wight hours she was interviewed by Arthur M Schlesinger in 1964. I have gotten lost in her mind and command of politics, history and literature. He intelligence is unforgiving and cunning. I am going to wear a black bespoke suit and just have my hair combed back . I will channel her. She was wicked and tricky.

What makes someone a New Yorker?

Someone who knows when to keep on walking with that vague impermeable life force. The other day I realized I was doing what I always dreamed of doing– just sitting in the park reading one of those long New Yorker articles when I looked up and Yoko One walked by, it was the perfect moment. She nodded at me and I forgave her

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?

Aren't all New Yorkers living, dead, real and fictional? I recently met Martha Stewart the last month at a fancy roof top party and and she gave me her recipe for Prison Tamales. My favorite New Yorkers are Pete Hamill. Stanford White. Edith Wharton, Mickey Mantel, Mrs. Astor's pet Horse. Dolly Levi. Spike Lee and Martin Scorsese and Toots Shor, because he invented the circular bar

What do you miss most about LA.?
The nights. Nothing compares to it. Magnificent.

The nocturnal perfumes of the mock oranges trees that some how mock us.

The fog in Venice that obliviates the sea.

Those Joan Didion moments of driving and cracking a boiled egg on steering wheel when you're merging on the Harbor Freeway at 4;30 in the morning drinking flat Pellegrino water and smoking and an old butt.

I love driving through those W.P.A tunnels that go into Highland Park then getting slightly lost on Zoo Drive.

What restaurant or food thing will you seek out when here?

The beef marrow bones at Mozza. Late night breakfast at Luques. Anything at Deltas Taco on Sunset Junction.. There also is a ramen bar I frequent in a sea food supermarket on Beverly that is pure Korean bliss tucked into Pac Man arcade. Very dada. Cheap and delicious

Tell us about your Sandy experience.

I have been through Katrina, Irene and Sandy. apparently Low-pressure system emanate from my body. I am told that I can affect plate Tectonics and change coastal maps when I am bilious. I am getting an honorary third eye. I have been through so many hurricanes my friends call me FEMA. This Sandy was a royal bitch.

I used believe that “global warming” was no big deal, that maybe its was because of all that hairspray used by the Supremes. I may have been wrong on this. It may larger be more than just the Supremes, These gargantuan weather patterns are so chaotic that it may also include The Hairspray of Tammy Wynette, Ricky Lake and Wayne Newton. Buster Poindexter. I Live on The Upper Westside and came out unscathed having only to suffer two hours in line for Olives at Zabar. I really can t complain.

What will you be sharing at UnCabaret?

I will explain that the Mayan calendar ends Dec 21st so we should not pay our rent any more
Taylor Negron at Beth Lapides' UnCabaret at First & Hope, 710 W. First St., dwntwn.; Sun., Nov. 18, 8 p.m.; $20. (213) 706-3630.

Sun., Nov. 18, 8 p.m., 2012

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