Unlike all of those legit beauty pageants mired in drug and nude photo scandals, the organizers behind non-profit Aid for AIDS's seventh annual Best in Drag Show know their contestants are trash, and are perfectly willing to flaunt them. Last year's event, which raised more than $350,000 and brought out celeb judges like Kathy Griffin, featured contestants from eight states — the other 42 don't matter — with names like Holli Day, Tara Ligament and Phiddle-de Dee. This year's judges include Saturday Night Live alum Molly Shannon, Laugh-In legend Joanne Worley and actresses Holland Taylor and Olivia Wilde, who was ranked number one on this year's Maxim magazine's “Hot 100” issue (bitch, please). And the contestants will once again compete in an evening gown portion and interview round, where they'll stand for nothing and promise nothing. All this for a cubic zirconia crown. It's every little boy's dream. Bert Parks will not be on stage singing “There she-he is, Miss America's nightmare …”

Sun., Oct. 18, 7 p.m., 2009

LA Weekly