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*Chateau Marmont to Lindsay Lohan: Be Out by Noon, Never Come Back.

Two years ago when Lindsay Lohan threatened to leave Los Angeles, she was already in a world of hurt following two DUI arrests.

In the two years since she's hardly remade herself, getting in hot water for allegedly stealing a necklace from a jewelry store and/or partying on probation.

The latest shitstorm for her is a $46,350.04 unpaid bill at the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood, which has banned her for life. L.A. should do the same:

Luckily we might not have to. Lohan announced once again that she's leaving L.A. for New York. Maybe.

In what it bills as an exclusive, the New York Daily News says she's headed to Manhattan's Tribeca neighborhood — “leaving her troubles in Los Angeles behind.”

Credit: @lindsaylohan

Credit: @lindsaylohan

The paper says she's likely to make the move this fall.

Look, we like a hard-partying white girl just as much as the next Mexican. But, frankly, she has given L.A. a bad name.

And this is the town of Charlie Sheen, the entire porn industry, and Bill Maher!

L.A. can handle its party people, people. What we can't handle is those who don't pay their bill after tearing shit up, those who allegedly steal stuff and those who complain when the velvet rope doesn't break their way.

(After being told she had to wait in line like everyone else at a West Hollywood club in 2010 she threatened to leave town and tweeted: “I've never been treated so poorly in my life, this is why I never come to LA.”).

Lohan heads to court.; Credit: Ted Soqui for LA Weekly

Lohan heads to court.; Credit: Ted Soqui for LA Weekly

That's amateur.

Besides her alleged sticky fingers and slow-wallet-reaction time, Lohan's not really a good fit for SoCal: She can't drive. Two DUIs and a couple of allegations of hit-and-run in the span of five years? Take the subway.

And remember, like most of the douches in L.A. who tarnish our fine reputation as a global metropolis of great cultural import, Lohan isn't even from here. She's from Long Island.

Good riddance. And, New York, thanks in advance for taking her back.

[@dennisjromero / / @LAWeeklyNews]

LA Weekly