More Lohan news for this fine hump day: “Lindsay Lohan's Venice Stalker Says He Was Only Trying to Tell Her to 'Drop the Marilyn Monroe Image'.”

Though her sex life is getting stranger and her face is bloating out of control (so much so that the paparazzi recently mistook her for Debbie Harry), Lindsay Lohan has avoided any major missteps with Los Angeles law enforcement these last few months.

At her last court appearance for the DUI/necklace/probation pileup, a pleased Judge Stephanie Sautner told the 25-year-old, “You seem to be getting your life back on track and that's what we all hoped for.” Sautner said the actress would soon be off the hook, under one condition:

“All you have to do is obey all laws, stay out of trouble, move on with your life.”

So close, yet so far. As of last night, it looks like a midweek trip to Sayers Club and a brief run-in (literally) with one enterprising Hollywood A-hole might pose a small obstacle to freedom.

A witness tells TMZ that, as paparazzi swarmed Lohan while she was trying to leave the club around midnight — her first night out in a while — the notoriously terrible driver, especially when schwasted, “bumped” into the manager of a nearby hookah bar.

Then she peeled out “like a madwoman.”

LAPD officers tell City News Service that the man called them afterward to report he'd been hit. However, “they found no evidence of vehicles being hit, no evidence of people being injured, so there was no report taken since there was no evidence of any crime.”

So, as of this morning, the investigation is on hold:

The actress was trying to avoid paparazzi and make a turn when she “brushed” the man's leg, Officer Norma Eisenman, an LAPD spokeswoman, told the Los Angeles Times. But officers have not contacted Lohan, and the incident is not being considered a hit-and-run, she said.

The Hookah Lounge manager could still come back and claim injury, though. And that doesn't look entirely unlikely, judging by his (alleged) attitude last night:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the 26-year-old manager was standing by his car when Lindsay was attempting a 3-point turn and she grazed his knee and his car. We're told the manager didn't know who Lindsay was at first and he told the paparazzi on scene and police that he didn't need medical attention. Cops say he was told the driver was Lindsay but he said he wasn't from this country and didn't know who she was. We're told a short time later he began complaining he was injured.

Never thought we'd say this, but — poor Lindsay Lohan. No matter how diligently she scrubs down the morgue and wallows on house arrest, she can't seem to have an off-night without a thousand A-holes picking apart every bad second of it.

[@simone_electra / / @LAWeeklyNews]

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