After a Spring summit with LA's top club promoters, we have some exclusive scoop to share that may very well change the culture of clubbing as we know it! You wont read this anywhere else, folks! Starting this Friday night, April 1st, the following changes will occur at clubs around town:

1) Bottle service will be abolished! Seating inside clubs will actually be given to cool people or those willing to come out early to the venue.

2) The two-girls-for-every-douchey-dude ratio entry rule at the door will be switched to two-(hot)-guys-for-every-girl.

3) New dress code restrictions: no Snooki Lycra dresses or cubic zirconia. Also, no deodorant, no entry.

4) Drag queens! Every club must have one (or more).

5) Drinks over $12 come with a voucher for a free bacon-wrapped hotdog when you leave the club.

6) All DJs must pass a written music history exam and laptop music library inspection (no seminal soul, dance, funk, rock acts in the cache -samples don't count!- no gig)….


Okay, so none of the above is actually happening any time soon, but wouldn't it be wonderful if at least of couple of 'em did? What kind of foolin' and after dark shenanigans are actually going down this Friday and the week that follows?

Here are Lina in LA's Top Dance/Electronic Things To Do This Weekend (and Beyond)

Fri., April 1st

The cutie-booties at Hang The DJs and Club Underground often overlap, so coming together (or facing off, as it were) makes for a natural mesh and party refresh. Some of the best Indie, Brit pop, Post-Punk, Electro, Hip-Hop, 90's jams, Disco and soul deck heads in town will spin on both sides: Underground's Larry G (aka Supergrass) with Clifton Weaver (Funky Soul) and Diana Barraza vs. Hang The DJs' Dan (Cosmic Kids), Mario Cotto (KCRW), Sara Tea (Indie 103.1) and Heavy Accents (Dim Mak). Live performances by Love Grenades and Odd Modern. At the Echoplex, 1154 Glendale Blvd., Echo Park; 18+. More info here.

Grammy-nominated DJ/producer Wolfgang Gartner's mind (and body) blowing beats are no joke. His name is sort of a different story. The Cali-bred DJ was born as Joey Youngman but he created the Gartner personae in late 2007 after dramatically altering his style and sound, going from deep house to the hard-hitting electro-house he's currently lauded for. The Wolfie moniker does seem to better evoke the more exotic, Euro-flavored textures and techno techniques of this fiercest of floor shakers. See for yourself on Friday at Control at Avalon. 1735 Vine St., Hlywd. Info here.

Saturday, April 2

With competition around town heating up, looks like Avalon is playing hard (house) ball, bill-wise. Saturday's Avaland offers Cedric Gervais, fresh off Ultra Music Festival and Miami Music Week. Gervais' latest is called “Miamication” and the France-bred/Miami-based DJ will bring it to LA with signature sexy, vocal-heavy track attacks that you don't have to be beach babe to bask in. 1735 Vine St., Hlywd. Info. here.

Sunday, April 3

A rite of Spring and (hopefully) kick off to warmer days ahead, Culprit Sessions afternoon gatherings on the Downtown Standard Hotel Rooftop are always a splash. This week the season begins on a high with Steve Bug. The Ibiza vet and label head (Poker Flat) is known for pushing boundaries and melding electronic music's past and present -everything from classic house to experimental techno- as heard on his label's latest, Forward To the Past. Also featuring Culprit label founders Droog on the decks. 550 Flower St. dwntwn. 1pm – 8pm. $10 before 4pm, $20 after. RSVP to

Follow Lina Lecaro on Twitter at @L_in_A

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