It's tough with gift guides. Both assembling them and following them. For the assembler (that's me), they are fraught with second guessing and trying to psychically determine what will suit someone's mother, when in reality, I know nothing about her. I could tell you to get her a day at Bliss Spa (930 Hilgard Ave., at the W Hotel), but your mother might not like spas. Or get her a Le Creuset dutch oven cast iron pot, because they are the best and have those nice, thick, fat bottoms, but maybe your mom's not into cooking, she's into true crime. (In which case, how about an Esotouric bus tour of Pasadena's “assassins, oddballs, kidnappers and slashers.”)
Anyway. Presented here are gifts guaranteed to please, amuse, annoy, and/or confound your mother, father, brother, sister, lover, and secret crush. They are also all available online:
A bull, bear, moose, deer, or rhino. Why get trashed on plain old shots, when you can take rhinoceros shots.
You'll need to furnish your own raspberries. (Ha ha.)
If I had a dollar for everytime someone said, “I give you this, the key to my heart,” I'd have, maybe two dollars. This charm is adorable, though. Maybe pick up one of Washington's mini-zines, too, while you're at it. Her drawings are enigmatic, beautiful and slightly creepy.
It's the city guide you write yourself. I have one of these. They are outstanding. It's good to take notes in to remind yourself where all the interesting-to-you places in the city are so you don't forget them. Plus, it has a map that's somewhat accurate.
This piggy bank is cast from a real pig. Ten bucks from each purchase get donated to the Humane Society. At almost two hundred bucks, he's an investment piece. Part art. Part functional item. All pork.
Boys, if you are looking for something to get your sweetie this year, I recommend a fabric purse. They're simple and casual, but not stuck-up and designer-y. You won't have to take out a second mortgage to acquire it, either. This one is hella cute. Hella cute.
OMG. Harry Potter has a game of Clue! “Was it Draco Malfoy with a Sleeping Draught in the Owlery?” There will be a Harry Potter Clue evening at my place in the very near future.
When they say “one thing” they mean it. It is 3″ big. But it is so tiny and perfect. It hangs from a 16″ white leather cord.
Designed by Karim Rashid (he is so irritating!). But don't let that stop you. Your plants need to live.
This thing looks like the MacMini, no?
The remote control is a human brain. A. Human. Brain. Okay? Stuff this into someone's stocking and they will love you 4-ever (and eat your brains when you die). It makes a nice gift for your inlaws. Or as a not-so-subtle reminder of who's in control, for your husband.
Yes, you read right. A digital Rollei camera. Pictures are about 1″ square, and you can shoot while it hangs on your neck on your chest. And yeah, it's from Urban Outfitters, which troubles me morally, but hey, what can you do. When it's cool, it's cool.
You'd probably never buy these for yourself. But you secretly hope to receive them as a gift. The “Fear & Trembling” reel is described thusly: “Fear & Trembling is about a dinner party as seen from inside the head of someone who probably shouldn't have come.” Both from Reform School.
This ship comes unassembled, so make sure your recipient has the gumption to take on the construction of a 16th century Spanish galleon. If he/she does, I recommend you also get this next item…
Sounds include: “boat horns, bells, creaking masts, and sea birds” and is a veritable “Nautical Sound Sculpture.” How about that?
Or you could just skip the presents this year and tell your people you love them.