Photo by Jack Gould


How about kicking off Labor Day weekend with an “education multimedia medicine
show featuring a distressingly inappropriate mix of fetishized nurses, psychobabbling
hand-puppets, scratchy old safety films and Grand Guignol effects”? Hey, it
beats working. The Art of Bleeding, the sicko brain child of former Cacophony
Society poo-bah Al Ridenour, includes performances by Nora Keyes (the Centimeters),
Dame Darcy’s Death by Doll and bleeding nurse Szandora Lavey, as well as fractured
jazz by Sons of Damien. (Also at the Silverlake Lounge Wed., Sept. 7.) The
Smell, 247 S. Main St., downtown; Fri., Sept. 2, 10 p.m.; $5.

Dear Space Aliens: If you’re reading this, please try to be in the Hollywood
area this weekend for The National UFO Conference. Some of your biggest supporters
will be gathering at a hotel to share evidence that you exist. Of course, speakers
will talk about how the government has squashed such research since the Roosevelt
administration, but one author, Lynne D. Kitei, M.D., will screen seven years’
worth of footage of a UFO seen repeatedly in Arizona. Anyway, your presence
would really mean a lot to everybody. Sorry that parking will be such a bitch.
But while you’re here you can visit Ripley’s Believe It or Not — it has a statue
of John Wayne made from laundry lint! Renaissance Hotel, 1755 N. Highland
Ave., Hollywood; Fri.-Sun., Sept. 2-4; $25 a day; free lecture, “UFOlogy 101,”
Fri., 1 p.m. on the second floor. (858) 523-1068.


The first annual (they hope) Queen Mary Art Deco Fest will benefit the restoration
of the original art aboard the 1936 ocean liner. You’re encouraged to dress
as though you’re going to the Paris Exposition in 1925 and enjoy a Ghosts &
Legends show, shipboard tours, lectures, a car show, film festival and appropriate
music from the era. Lectures cover such topics as “How to Dress Deco.” Queen
Mary, 1126 Queens Hwy., Long Beach; Fri.-Mon., Sept 2-5; $29.95, seniors $26.95,
children $18.95. (562) 435-3511.


Forgive her if she’s too wheezy to blow out the candles (all that bad air),
but today is the city of Los Angeles’ 224th birthday. We’re all invited to re-create
the historic walk of the city’s original settlers at Los Pobladores Walk to
Los Angeles. Begins at San Gabriel Mission at 6 a.m. and continues to Olvera
Street for a birthday celebration. Free. For directions:
or (213) 485-9769 or 485-8372.

Yeah, yeah, we know you were a punk before anyone else was a punk. You saw the
Germs; you shot up with Darby; you introduced John to Exene. You fucked Belinda.
You ran the Scream. You were Don Bolles and Pleasant Gehman and Kim Fowley.
You’re that guy in the crowd in The Decline of Western Civilization.
We get it already! So get your punk-old ass to photographer Gary Leonard’s Big
Boss Reunion of L.A.’s Underground Bands From ’77 Until ’87 (“Plus all the other
cool cats and kittens who helped make it happen”). Barnsdall Art Park, 4804
Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Sun., Sept. 4, 11 a.m.; free. E-mail


He’s the Jack White of standup comedy: goofy pageboy-black haircut and a voice
that always sounds like he’s about to cry. Okay, that’s a stretch. Emo Phillips
has a Monday residency at the Steve Allen Theater through the end of September.
Where has he been? Did he ever go away? Is Jack White really the Emo Phillips
of rock? Find out these answers and more. (Warning: Weird Al Yankovic made a
surprise appearance onstage last week.) The Steve Allen Theater (at the Center
for Inquiry–West), 4773 Hollywood Blvd.; every Mon., 8 p.m.; $10. (323) 666-4268.


How long could you play stowaway at the Hollywood Bowl? Until November 6, when
the Rolling Stones show up? Just a thought. The Los Angeles Philharmonic performs
Beethoven’s Triple Concerto. Hollywood Bowl, 2301 N. Highland Ave.; Tues.,
Sept. 6, 8 p.m.; $1 to $115. (323) 850-2000 or


Our own treasury of the boob tube, the Museum of Television & Radio, kicks off
a new series called “In the Prime: Fall Pilot Previews” that includes six nights
of free screenings and parties devoted to the fall season. Each night is dedicated
to a different network, and tonight it’s the WB. Be the first on your block
to see Just Legal, Twins and Supernatural before they’re
canceled for sucking. Museum of Television & Radio, 465 N. Beverly Dr., Beverly
Hills; Wed.-Sun., Sept. 7-11, parties at 6:30 p.m.; screenings at 7 p.m.; free.
(310) 786-1000.

out for Lincoln's nose!
See Thursday.


Alfred Hitchcock’s espionage thriller North by Northwest has mama’s boy
Cary Grant being chased 3,000 miles across the country. Of course, there’s the
famous scene with the crop-dusting plane, and the unforgettable sequence at
Mount Rushmore, which Hitchcock joked that they should call “The Man in Lincoln’s
Nose.” Look for Alfred at a bus stop during the opening credits. Film historian
Bill Krohn will introduce the film. American Cinematheque at the Aero Theater,
1328 Montana Ave., Santa Monica; Thurs., Sept. 8, 7:30 p.m.; $9. (323) 466-FILM.

*A Full Cincinnati is wearing a white belt and white shoes (often with a white
tie and polyester suit). One or the other is a Half Cincinnati. Both are considered
verboten after Labor Day. On the other hand, the no-white-after-Labor-Day rule
has been relaxed in recent years (even Laura Bush wore white — blinding white,
not wimpy winter white — at Dubya’s inauguration last year), and here in Los
Angeles the rule has long been ignored — check out the miniskirted rock gals
keeping the ’80s alive on Sunset every weekend in their studded white belts
and white boots.

LA Weekly