If you thought frigging lasers existed as weapons only in Austin Powers films, think again.

Because, in a post-nuclear world, the United States had to get its hands on some kind of scare-the-holy-shit-out-of-foreigners firepower. And that it has.

Behold, the “solid-state, high-energy laser,” successfully tested by the U.S. Navy recently off the coast of California. You know what this gun's nickname is?

“HEL” for high-energy laser. As in, we're bringing the HEL, Muammar.

Burn baby burn.; Credit: YouTube / U.S. Navy

Burn baby burn.; Credit: YouTube / U.S. Navy

And, in case you think this is a bluff, Navy officials got the whole test on YouTube and posted it, proudly, for the world to see.

The video shows the engine of a “small target vessel” going up in smoke like a joint at a Cypress Hill concert — quickly so.

The frigging laser (as it will be known here from now on) was mounted on the USS Paul Foster and tested off San Nicholas Island.

Said Peter Morrison, program officer for the Office of Naval Research:

This is the first time a HEL, at these power levels, has been put on a Navy ship, powered from that ship and used to defeat a target at-range in a maritime environment.

Just add some low-frequency bass weapons and maybe a disco-ball distractor, and we will have successfully turned all disco toys into tools of war.

LA Weekly