Check out our Super Bowl weekend DUI checkpoint and patrol tip sheet here (there's a checkpoint in Hollywood tonight).

Outside of Thanksgiving, Super Bowl Sunday is arguably America's biggest excuse for gluttony: Chips, dip and beer (or, if you're Charlie Sheen, lines, vodka and porn stars) are just the hors d'œuvre.

There's also barbecue, potato salad and shots. That New Year's resolution? Long gone by now. Here's the thing: Keep it cool, because we're betting the LAPD will be looking for you — especially if you're so happy your team won you went bottoms up five or six times with your bros.

In the spirit of jail prevention, then, the LAPD is offering up some Super Bowl tips:

The department actually states this:

Find unique ways to recognize the designated drivers at your party

Give them a great spot to watch the game

Whatever non-alcoholic beverage they are drinking, make sure their glass is always full

Let them have the first pass at the buffet table

Make sure their cars are easy to access when it is time to start driving people home

Serve plenty of food

Offer a variety of non-alcoholic choices like soft drinks, juice, and water …

The Charlie Sheen translation:

Give them a great spot to watch the … porn stars.

Make sure their mirror is always full.

Let them have first pass at the bong.

Make sure their cars aren't over the side of Mulholland.

Serve plenty of drugs.

Offer paramedic services.

We kid. Seriously, be safe. And don't take Mulholland. It's twisty.

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