One thing that turns me on the most about L.A. is also what turns me off the most: the drive and determination that are within it.
Honestly, there is nothing more of a turn on than a person that actually wants to do something, and will do just about anything to make that happen. They have their minds set to accomplish something, and they'll do it.
The turn-off with this is that they get so engrossed in doing so, that they tend to be spread too thin. And not in a good way.
I'm not a needy guy, so don't get that wrong, but when you don't feel like you're getting the whole person, knowing there's still so much more to them but they keep you at arm's length, it leaves a little less to be desired.
The people are great, and I will stand up for L.A. residents and say that they're really not fake. L.A.-ists are actually quite real – I'd say that they don't have the time or the energy to really be untrue to whom they are; though that could just be some innate sense that I have to weed through the B.S.
But, where a lot of people see fake and flakey people, I see people that are trying to get to an end result; only that end result in L.A. is really not a romantic life. Could just be in my social circles though, I won't deny that. I'm still new to L.A. It's a HUGE city. There are almost as many people in L.A. as there are in my home state of Colorado.
I thoroughly enjoy and am constantly inspired by the aspirations to accomplish and demolish the goals that everyone I have met in Los Angeles has set out to conquer. Though, I still feel that they are so determined to finalize these goals, that their love lives go wayside and become more of a side hobby. Relationships are put on hold, seemingly, until that person has “made it.”
I know that a lot of the people I'm around also try the relationship thing. I say try, because they're not really actively pursuing that relationship – they just fell into it, and are OKwith it, and may or may not actually entertain the idea that it's real. They may delude themselves into believing it is, but you can see that they're pretty half-heartedly involved.
But don't get me wrong; I'm definitely not one of the people looking for commitment. I'm not opposed to it, but I'm not pursuing it. But I would rather know where I stand with someone at the same time. For being a porn star, I'm not really a promiscuous guy. Flings and trysts are perfectly fine with me. As long as we both know that's what it is.
But there's a great majority of the people that I've met and witnessed who, in their drive and determination, make and keep relationships – romantic and plutonic – with people who will only help them in the long run.
But the other people, the ones that cannot push nor benefit their goals, typically get cast aside. You and this person may have had amazing chemistry and greatness between the two of you, but you couldn't help them achieve what they had set out for, and were therefore left to maybe reconnect someday in the future, when they're out of the tunnel.
I want everyone to succeed; I just don't want to watch them all forget that at the end of the day, it's the people they keep around them that are there to carry them through. Sex is great and fun, but it's always so much better with someone you actually have a connection with. How many one night stands have you had that totally blew your mind? I can only assume “0,” because you would have brought them back at least one more time.
Oh, and the air here sucks too. The fact you can see it, and that it looks like death, makes me question a lot of things, sanity not withheld. How can that giant brown cloud of misery instill even a slight resemblance of sexiness?
Image: Federico Stevanin.