This week, your Weekly's all about the best L.A. has to offer, then and now. In that spirit, your Crap Archivist is proud to present America's Best Pick Up Spots, a gem of horny misogyny guaranteed not to get you laid in this or any other decade!

Click on over to Studies in Crap on our Style Council blog for hard truths like this:

“The truth of the matter is that you're lonely now. And you're horny now. Your left hand is always available as a mistress, but it's hardly good company.”

There's also much dumbass advice to savor, including how to trick the secretaries lunch in Pershing Square into thinking you're a millionaire financier:

“If you are developing a paunch, pat it as you approach someone, clear your throat in a dignified way, and start talking about the dangers of 'all that fancy eating.' Let her jump to her own conclusions.”

Visit Studies in Crap for these cads' thoughts on LACMA, MacArthur Park, and why the Whiskey A Go-Go is on it's way out!

LA Weekly