Have you seen KISS, now available in potato form? And by “now” I mean as of last year. Sold individually or as a set, the KISS Mr. Potato Head spuds include Gene Simmons (The Demon), Ace Frehley (The Spaceman), Peter Criss (The Catman) and Paul Stanley (The Starchild). I take issue with the price–$59.99 (seriously?!) and with some finer points of design. A few things that could have made the dolls better:

1. Removable makeup.

You should be able to paint that stuff on.

2. Sexy Female Mr. (or I guess Miss) Potato Head Groupie Dolls.

Ideally, you'd swap their breasts out for bigger and bigger cup-sizes. They'd also come with tiny little backstage passes on lanyards to wear around their neck.

3. Action Tongue.

It should pop in and out of the potato's mouth when you press a button on its head.

4. Real Hair.

Or, real plastic hair, that you can brush and comb and pet and love. Take a cue from Barbie. KISS was about makeup, but they were also about glorious, nasty hair.

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.

LA Weekly