In the hierarchy of LA nightlife, few people hold as much rank as the keeper of the clipboard. The girl or guy at the door can with one quick glance at a guest list determine your fate for the rest of the evening. With that in mind, we're heading out on the town to chat up some of the best known clubland gatekeepers.

For our first installment, we talked to Larva, who you might recognize from Mr. Black. Every Tuesday, Larva, who says that she has been attending and performing at clubs “since birth,” gives you the yay or nay at Hollywood hot spot Bardot. Nightlife veterans might also recognize her from Club Screwball, where she worked a few years back. She also occasionally handles door duties for Malabomba! at Bordello.

What's your door policy?

Our supreme hosts, DJs and staff supply me with personal lists. Usually, if your name is on the list it's an automatic, you get in. 

If you are not on the list then I look at what you are wearing. Every week, I am styled head-to-heel by Jared Gold and I'm a full-time model so, of course, fashion counts. It doesn't have to be designer, just artistic. 

One night a guy wore a piece of furniture when he walked into the club and then showed me man-gina on the way out. That's not what I mean by artistic. Putting effort in creating a look that is wearable with an element of surprise is artistic.

Do you ever have to turn people away because they did a little too much partying before coming to the club?

Mr. Black at Bardot opens early for dinner so most of the partying happens inside. Bardot's security will “help” people leave only when they become a liability for our guests and/or employees, or when they get so drunk they start peeling their clothing off, which I don't suggest. Rage is a trained cage fighter and full-time security at Bardot. He is one of the people who has to deal with that stuff, so I feel very safe to do my job couturing the night's crowd with celebrities,eccentric personalities and classy talent.

What's the best line you've heard from someone who found out that he/she wasn't on the list?

“There's a list?!?!” Um, yes. duh!

The best is when they drop any name they can think of, then check their mobile for more names, then blame me for not knowing “The Name.” People! Name dropping does not work. Getting your name on the list does.

Have you ever had to turn away somebody famous?

No, but I did think a very famous musician was a homeless person. I hate when you can't tell if they are famous or homeless. I did let him in because I like his band and he was on the list. But, he was lucky.

Check out our photo galleries from Mr. Black's opening night and “2033” party .

LA Weekly