Gino Romano, a New York resident who is apparently obsessed with the Kardashians (like in a not-normal way, like a beyond reading-tabloid-dirt-when-you're-supposed-to-be-working way) filed yet another ridiculous lawsuit against the Calabasas family on June 15.
Among his alleged reasons for seeking a restraining order:
While on the “Tower of Terror” ride at Disney World, Kim whispered “BOO” in his ear and threatened to steal his dog in her best Wicked Witch of the West voice; Khloe Tasered him, then body-slammed him in her Sumo-wrestler suit; Kourtney stole his Rolex and gave it to Scott Disick; and in a final fit of terror, Kim stole his Mickey Mouse shirt and threw it onto Space Mountain.
Pretty sure we had the same nightmare last night.
It would have been easy for the judge to stamp a big red “REJECTED” on the thing and move on with his life, like so many judges before him. But Judge Roy Dalton took a little extra time to acknowledge what little legitimacy there is to Romano's pile of bull crap, ultimately crafting what we have determined to be the best judge's order ever.
While Dalton ultimately rules the request for a restraining order to be “frivolous,” he humors Romano (and, really, the Kardashian-phobe in all of us) for a moment, finding that “it may be plausible that more than a few people would be terrorized if they
found themselves trapped in the Tower of Terror ride with the Kardashians.”
Here's the order in full:
And here's the original complaint — a work of art, if a gigantic waste of court resources.
Romano claims the Disney World assault was “revenge” for another lawsuit he filed against the Kardashians in Nashville a week prior. As it turns out, that tall tale is even more ridiculous (though more of a wet dream, this time, than a nightmare):
Class injunctive actions where the plaintiff claims he was in a suite at a Dallas Mavericks game that was next to [Mark] Cuban's personal suite. He claims he overheard Cuban offering to not cut Odom from the roster if defendants' Khloe and Kim Kardashian agreed to shoot a sex tape with him. The plaintiff claims [Kris] Jenner agreed to shoot it and that the plaintiff climbed into the arena's ventilation system, creeped through the ducts and saw them having sex. The plaintiff says he made off with the sex tape and has been in hiding ever since.
A source tells us that Romano is the same guy as Jonathan Lee Riches, pegged by legal blog Above the Law as “America's favorite serial litigant,” and who Radar Online says “has filed more than 2600 lawsuits since 2006.”
At this point, we're just impressed.