When you're on top, and we're getting close to the big finale, please don't choke me.

Sounds like a “duh” no-brainer, but for some reason there are men out there who (maybe they saw it in a porno or two, or are just angry all the time) feel the need to cut off my oxygen source right when I need it the most.

NEWS FLASH: Oxygen makes the blood flow. Blood flow to the groin area enhances feeling. Enhanced feeling heightens sensitivity. All this leads to a powerful orgasm. Cut off my oxygen, you cut off my orgasm, and then I hate you.

And quite frankly, the orgasm isn't ruined solely as a result of oxygen deficiency – the fact that I'm suddenly being choked in the middle of ecstasy yanks me out of the sexual moment so violently I forget it even feels good.

Rough, angry sex can be fun. But discuss it beforehand, don't spring it on me. How would you like it if I suddenly stuck a dildo in your butt right in the middle of it all? You'd be startled, too. At least you'd still be able to breathe.

Originally published on Ojoy.com

Image: m_bartosch.

LA Weekly