America, we've gone too far.
It's been nearly 10 years since 9/11, and it's time reassess how twisted we'll make our freedoms in order to make us think we're somehow safer.
Southern California resident John Tyner put the issue front-and-center over the weekend when he refused to be groped by U.S. Transportation Security Administration agents as part of the security screening ritual to get on a plane. He was right.
Warning: NSFW video satirizing airport security scanners:
Tyner argued that he shouldn't have to be sexually molested — a crime in any other circumstance — in order to move about this great land via jet plane.
Even Jay Leno argued in Tyner's favor Monday night, saying that we wouldn't be allowed to touch our genitals in an airport — why should the government have the privilege? “You go to the airport, touch your genitals and see what happens,” Leno joked.
Problem is, the crotch grabbing was a reaction to the so-called “underwear bomber” suspect, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who allegedly tried to ignite a bomb hidden in his tighties as the plane he was on flew over Detroit last December.
In fact, every bullshit security move you endure at an airport is the result of a failed attempt — always foiled by private citizens and not TSA agents — to blow up a plane. You remember shoe bomber Richard Reid, right.
Yeah, he tried to spark up his LA Gears (or whatever they were) on a flight in December, 2001. You know who foiled him? Not federal, crotch-grabbing agents. It was flight attendants and passengers.
So now you have to take off your shoes and allow the contours of your junk to be examined in order to fly because two small-timers got by security with lame clothing-related devices.
You better thank your lucky stars somebody doesn't put a stick of dynamite up their ass and get on a plane, because if rectal exams become a part of this process, we're never flying again.
And therein lies the rub (pun intended). This is getting out of hand, and there's not evidence the evasive searches at airports, the limits on liquids, the taking off of ones kicks, leads to safer skies.
A website titled wewontfly.com is encouraging travelers to boycott flights on Nov. 24, one of the busiest days in the skies because it's the day before Thanksgiving.
In any case, knowing who's on a plane provides way more security than checking skivvies. Farouk Abdulmutallab, the alleged underwear bomber, was on a frigging watch list! His own father pointed him out to authorities as a possible threat. The feds screwed up.
And now YOU suffer.
We need more people like Tyner to stand up and say enough is enough.
Leno joked that “It's not quite, 'Give me liberty or give me death.” But Tyner's warning heard 'round the world, “If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested,” has a certain post-millennial ring of freedom to it.
We've got to get more intelligent about this stuff, or pretty soon the TSA will indeed be employing proctologists.