From “She’s Not There” by Greg Burk, part of “In the Age of Madonna” cover package, November 10, 1989

The TV is on and “there” she is again. Who’s That Girl? Come on. Of course, it’s Ma . . . Ma . . . it’s Madonna. At least I think it is, because it looks sort of like someone who was in another video, who looked sort of like the girl in the one before, but not quite, and she looked sort of like my sister. Is that you, sis? No, I don’t have a sister. Ma? The end of the video has come, and the type in the lower left says it’s definitely Madonna. Told you.

We’re very excited about Maril . . . Madonna. Not exactly excited about her, more excited when we think of her. Whoever she is. Shut up; she’s Madonna. When I think of the word “Madonna,” I think of religion. I’m not sure what I think, but it’s painful. and when Madonna has some crosses and altars and priests around, that same feeling comes back more. And I like it.

Another thing I like is sex. And Madonna has plenty of it. I think I’d like to . . . but no, I really wouldn’t. “There” she is, grabbing her crotch and fondling her tits and looking right at me out of the screen, and I want . . . I don’t know. A peanut butter sandwich. I think I’ll get one, right after the video.

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