This sad crew of tired, poor, huddled masses washed up on the wrong beach it seems.

The 10 suspected illegal immigrants were spotted about 4:30 a.m. yesterday on Pacific Coast Highway just across the county line, in Ventura County, where dozens of surfers go for their “dawn patrol” sessions at sunrise.

Hmm. Wonder who turned them in?

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokeswoman Lori Haley told the Weekly it wasn't clear who dropped a dime on the newcomers.

View Larger Map

It all happened not far from Neptune's Net, the biker-cum-surfer eatery on PCH at County Line north of Malibu.

Haley says that after San Diego has been inundated with boat drops of illegals in recent years they appear to be happening further and further north. Port Heuneme is as far up the coast as they've gotten, she guessed.

“Maritime smuggling is becoming more and more frequent in Southern California, starting out in the San Diego area and now working its way north,” Haley says.

The ten were in custody as ICE and other agencies investigate.

We have some tips for our Latino brethren who want to wash ashore at other famous area surf spots in the future:

-Bring a board — a 6'-2″ thruster, maybe — to blend in. Hold it under your right arm, fins first, '80s-style.

-Bleach your hair. Get highlights.

-Complain about stuff that doesn't seem complaint-worthy: Bro, I frayed a drawstring on my Birdwells (kick sand angrily).

-Claim your bronze skin is the result of sick bareback sessions all winter long at Puerto Escondido.

-Use word “epic” even if there are no waves.

-Diss “spongers.”

-Point at fellow immigrants that just got off the next boat, shake your head, and say, What's this spot coming to?

You're now half way to becoming American. Good luck.


LA Weekly