Important things you need to know about the 2009 L.A. County Fair: Fun new attractions include Jurassic Planet, Gateway to Africa, Safari Adventure, Under the Sea. The Los Angeles International Wine & Spirits Competition, which complements nausea-inducing carnival rides and Skee-ball quite well. With stunt dogs, monstertrucks, mariachi bands and the Pirates of the Colombian Caribbean aerial high-wire thrill show, there truly is something for everyone. But every year, the midway boasts one new Herculean caloric undertaking — on a stick. Last time, the food pushers added deep-fried Spam on a stick. You can gnaw on crispy coconut shrimp on a stick, and savory egg rolls on a stick, plus the good old hot dog on a stick, pork chop on a stick, frozen banana on a stick and cream puff on a stick. But not everyone's an on-a-stick devotee. Some people like it deep-fried. Imagine how bad you'll feel about yourself after sampling not only deep-fried Twinkies, Snickers, Oreos and pickles but deep-fried green olives stuffed with garlic; deep-fried asparagus; and deep-fried cauliflower. And deep-fried avocados and tomatoes and deep-fried apples with real whipped cream. After all that, you may have to get your fried Krispy Kreme chicken sandwich to go. How about Spam s'mores: a slice of Spam on an English muffin with Velveeta? I am going to be sick now.

First Saturday, Sunday of every month, 10 a.m.-10 p.m.; Wednesdays, Thursdays, 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Saturdays, 11-midnight. Starts: Sept. 5. Continues through Oct. 4, 2009

LA Weekly