So, I was bored one evening (tonight, as it happens) and as we do in the digital age I decided to google my name and find out what other Steffies exist on this planet. There's a lot of us in Europe: a couple Germans, a Steffie from the Netherlands, and a Brit Steffie who blogs about her “frolics.” 19-year-old Steffie from Glasgow's Myspace “about me” reads: “hey y'all, steffie doll comin atchya xx hey im stef , im 19 from buzzin renfreeewww :S i <3 drinking and hanging with my bezzi mates >thanks u lot, u all mean the world to mee..” Think she's drunk? I can't tell. There's also a Steffie who lives on an Indian reservation, and a 23-year-old Steffie in South Pasadena. Steffie Woolhandler is a professor of medicine at Harvard, and Mrs. Steffie Rhodes starred in a Marcus Welby, MD episode from 1975.

But the most intriguing Steffie I found tonight is a long-lost relative of Barbie, a collectible doll whose face was later transposed onto Barbie's much more famous li'l sis PJ (damn her!).

Here's a description from, which describes the “Steffie” doll pictured above:

“Medium blonde hair curly ends, & bangs, blue eyes, painted eyelashes, one piece shorts-suit, blue hot pants, pink & white checked long sleeve blouse, pink & white checked knee-hi socks, white shoes, black & white small checked belt & hat, special hands that can hold or grasp items. A record player, T.V., telephone, serving tray with 2 glasses and travel case all in brown plastic were included.”

Pretty sassy, huh? A one-piece shorts suit with checkered knee socks sounds right up my alley! Not to mention a record layer and serving tray with two glasses! And I'm so glad the Steffie doll has got hands that can “hold or grasp items”, as this is very important for a young lady.

And speaking of young ladies and hands that can grasp items, the Urban Dictionary offers a staggering number of variations on the Steffie theme.

According to whoever writes this thing, Steffie means:

1) a short girl with really big boobs

2) one who stares at people

as in: Stop staring at me! You're such a Steffie!

A Steffie-dee, on the other hand, has two very distinct meanings, that have nothing to do with big boobs.

1) A woman with small boobs (bee stings)

2) A women who has no sense of dress and looks like a tramp.


1. How small are her steffie-dee's!

2. That women is a Full on Steffie-Dee wanna-be!

Steffy butts, in case you were wondering, are simply “people who are unusually weird.”

Spelled Steffi, it “means you are having a laff, because you would say having a steffi graff. which is like having a laff.”

Spelled Stefi, it basically means dumbass.

adj- word used to express ignorance or retardness.

noun- a person who crashes a lot and engages into several accidents including vehicles.

– I've never heard something more ignorant. You're such a Stefi today!

– That Stefi crashed my car five times today!

Luckily, there's Stefy, which is defined as:

The greatest girl and best friend one could have in this world. The most extreme rarity of a person. *sidenote* EXTREMELY hot and SUPER sexy. She WILL make u want her so badly by just LOOKING at her.

Tell me something I didn't know.

xo- the REAL Steffie

Steffie Talk Busy 1972 doll courtesy of

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