I hear countless stories about dudes who are threatened by sex toys.

Common quote-worthy comments:

My chick doesn't need that.

A real man doesn't need a toy to make his chick cum.

She's gonna love that rabbit more than me.

Sure, sex toys are fun to use solo, but that DOESN'T mean they're made to be penis/tongue/boyfriend replacements. In fact, they're sometimes more fun to use in groups of two or more, and it's not just for the ladies to enjoy. Think of them as sex tools, not sex substitutes.


Teasing is stellar foreplay. A vibrator can tingle parts of your body you'd never think to touch and set your mind into sex-mode fast. Run it along the neck, collarbone, inner thighs and forearms – add some lube and the buzzing sensation feels quite nice on and around the balls, taint and penis.

When it's time to get down to business, don't put it away just yet. Vibing on the clit makes orgasms cumcome quicker – and for those of us who don't climax during intercourse alone, using a little pebble vibrator while he/she rails you will bring it home. Promise.

BONUS: For our hetero friends, while you buzz against your clit, he'll feel slight buzzing around his cock each time he enters you and chances her he's gonna like it. The extra sensation will be a pleasant surprise, especially or our male friends who feel skeptical of bringing a vibrator into the bedroom.


Using dildos in the bedroom isn't reserved only for our lesbian friends. Sure, you've got a working cock, and that's great – when we're fucking.

The best oral sex I've ever had was from a guy who used his right hand to prop himself up and his left to slowly (and then faster, faster, faster) fuck me with a dildo. It sounds complicated, but it's not rocket science.

I came hard and fast every time, and he felt like a superhero each time he wiped off his face.


Cockrings aren't just for men who can't keep it up. But if you are one of the millions of men who could use a boost, what are you so afraid of? Wearing one of these guys at the base of the penis (around the balls, too) not only will help you say stiffer longer, it also gives the cock and balls an aesthetic boost.

Just be sure to put it on BEFORE you get all hot and bothered, as it's not so simple to stretch one of these puppies around the boys when they're all engorged and ready to bounce.

I recommend sticking to silicone or nitrile for newbies, as they're the easiest to put on and take off, but pros often like stainless steel styles for a more hardcore result. Plus they look badass.

Don't be scared: cockrings aren't supposed to feel tight, and your nuts aren't going to fall off if you wear it for 15 minutes. If it's uncomfortable, go buy a bigger size and give yourself a high-5 when she's not looking.

And many of the stretchy rings have come a long way with designs that feature little vibrators that hit the clit each time he thrusts. It's a win-win situation, so even if you don't need the boner boost, there's still reason to give one a try.

Seventy-five (ish) percent of women don't have orgasms from simply getting railed, and often with just a little buzzing on the clit your girlfriend/wife/main ho might have one of her first intercourse orgasms. And won't that make you feel like a champ?

There are way too many toys to list here, so I suggest you check out the options online and see what catches your eye. But remember: Much like lube isn't for defective vaginas, vibrators, dildos and other toys aren't made to replace inadequate lovers.

If you're convinced otherwise, call me when you get some confidence and a clue. It's sex. Loosen up a little; it makes it easier to enjoy the ride.

Besides, everyone knows real men are good with their hands and know their way around a tool toy box.

LA Weekly