Traditional motherhood has changed. Today’s moms have dreams of their own, and they no longer allow outdated women’s roles to hold them back. Instead, they juggle the demands and responsibilities of motherhood with challenging careers, thriving social circles, meticulous self-care, and more. 

It’s not easy to balance being a mom and being a go-getter. But there are some tried and true secrets how moms can get what they want, the way they want it. 

1. Allow your inner child to take over

Kids are selfish. They want what they want, when they want it, and how they want it (especially my 13 year old, lol). Now. It’s a trait we work hard to shake as we mature. Except there are times when it’s not only okay to be a little selfish, it’s a necessity. 

If we’re ever to achieve our dreams, we must allow our inner child to take over and demand the time, funds, and support it takes to turn them into reality. If you allow yourself to always take a backseat to the needs of others, if you allow yourself to be pigeonholed into the traditional role of mother and all the restrictions this entails, you prevent yourself from reaching your full potential. 

Be insistent. Don’t negotiate and, above all, don’t feel guilty for aiming for the stars. 

2. Define what you want

Living the dream starts with setting goals. Setting goals starts with defining the dream. 

What is your ultimate desire? Be specific: what, when, where?

Maybe you strive to earn $1 million by the age of 35; or run your own company with 50 employees in the next 5 years; become a TV expert within the next 12 months; write and publish your first book by next January 2024; or maybe you want to visit five foreign countries in Asia in 2023. 

Write your goal on a piece of paper. Place it where you can see it often. Don’t stick your dream in a drawer to be forgotten and buried under daily tasks.

3. Create key milestones 

How will you reach your big goal? By reaching many little goals. 

Every story needs a good outline. The story of your dream does, too. Create mini-goals that keep you on track and check them off one by one. Take one step at a time and be proud of the small accomplishments. If you veer off course, that’s okay – your road from A to B will likely have a few bends, a few detours, perhaps a few jams and construction zones even. Prepare for them if you can, and when the unexpected happens, roll with the punches and get back on track as quickly as possible. 

Michelle Obama once said: “One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals.” When things get tough, be tougher.

4. Don’t go at it alone

Not everyone will understand your desire to pursue goals outside the family. Thankfully, many people in your network will. As traditional gender roles are abandoned by society bit by bit, the idea of moms following their dreams is becoming the norm and much more acceptable than it was in past generations. 

Friends and family members are invaluable resources you can count on for practical and emotional – and perhaps even financial – support. Some may offer to babysit, others may wish to invest in your dream, and others still may provide trusted advice or a shoulder to cry on.

Enlist your network, graciously accept offers of help and advice, and don’t forget to celebrate your successes with those who matter.

5. Whatever you do, don’t apologize for your dream

There will be naysayers; there always are. They’re entitled to their opinion, of course, but it’s up to you to be assertive, confident, and focused. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel mom-guilt; you know, this gnawing insecurity we know all too well, secretly wondering if it’s wrong to divert our attention away from the kids for even just a little while. Like all creatures in this world full of opportunities, you have a right to be happy.

Nurturing your wants allows you to experience the life you truly desire. See it with your mind’s eye and believe it’s already on the way. 



Neferteri Plessy is a trailblazer for mom entrepreneurs, business owners and leaders. A sought-after motivational speaker, Neferteri has coached over 5,000 women into living their best life now. As the founder and CEO of Single Moms Planet, a national 501(c)(3) non-profit, she has developed programming, events and resources which have not only uplifted and inspired thousands of mothers, but also celebrated their amazing achievements. She is the creator of the “Smart Mommy” brand, a global movement that empowers mothers in business. Neferteri has been featured in The Huffington Post, BBC News, MSN Lifestyle, KIIS FM, and the cover of LA Weekly.

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