As moms, we get so wrapped up in the needs of others, we sometimes forget that we still have ambitions and goals of our own. And pursuing them can be a real challenge, but there are four important steps in the roadmap for moms to develop their dreams.
Getting derailed from fulfilling your purpose is easy. Staying focused is hard.
1. Step into the fullness of what you truly desire for your life
Never, ever shortchange yourself. There is a successful future ahead of you if you commit and make the decision to grab it.
Aim high: People tend to live up to (or down to) the expectations others, or they themselves, place in them. Always work to live up to or exceed your own expectations, not down to. Expect more so you’ll get more.
Define your desires: Envision them in detail and write down a vision statement. One grandiose goal!
Determine milestones: Define the mini-goals it takes to get there. If your dream is to start a successful business, for example, think about what comes first (learn all you can about the industry and competitors, secure funding, think about product development, staffing, opening day, etc.)
Create a timeline: Assign dates to your milestones and stick to them.
Hold yourself accountable: Refer to your list of goals and your timeline frequently to monitor your progress. Be honest with yourself. Address delays and unexpected roadblocks immediately.
2. Set boundaries for yourself and around those who are in your life
Sometimes when we have big goals and big visions we stand in our own way. Other times, our loved ones don’t buy into the big shift and unknowingly (or knowingly) hold us back. Don’t let anyone – including yourself – knock you off your path!
Set aside time to work on your dream: Be unapologetic about this. With time, even your children and/or partner will learn that you’re still there for them, but on a schedule.
Factor in time for your children: Your kids will still need you. Depending on your children’s age, be there for breakfast/bedtime/school pickups/homework/bedtime. It doesn’t have to be all those things – choose one or two times you can spend meaningful one-on-one time with them and give them your undivided attention. Be consistent!
Be kind to yourself: Pick one or more days/times of the week when you can indulge in a little me-time without feeling guilty. Take a bath or a long walk. Go to the gym or on a date. If guilt does creep in, know that we all need time to decompress and recharge. A tired mom (who is working or an entrepreneur, for that matter), is often a distracted one.
3. Don’t take no for an answer
There is always another road you can travel to get to your destination of choice. Don’t give up… find out what your path should be.
Examine your options: When you drive from A to B and there’s a traffic jam ahead, your GPS provides you with alternate routes. There is always more than one way to get to your destination. Be creative, weigh the different routes, and keep going. A detour is not the end of the world. In fact, it might just be the scenic route.
Conquer your fears: Being afraid can strangle us and bring us to our knees. In truth, a lot of fears are borne from the unknown. Nip those fears in the bud with education and preparation and, just as importantly, practice.
Ask and you shall receive: A lot of “nos” happen when we don’t even ask. In fact, a failure to ask is an automatic no. If you do ask, and receive a no, you’re no worse off than you were before. So ask! And remember where there is a will there’s a way.
4. Celebrate when you get there but don’t stay in the party state for too long
Success likes momentum! When you get off the ride fully, you may end up back at ground zero where you began. Keep riding the momentum to the top and be grateful as you experience the dream being manifested into reality.
Don’t rest on your laurels too long. Stay laser-focused on your next mini-goal until you’ve arrived at the dream. And even then, there’s always room to continue growing.
Neferteri Plessy is a trailblazer for mom entrepreneurs, business owners and leaders. A sought-after motivational speaker, Neferteri has coached over 5,000 women into living their best life now. As the founder and CEO of Single Moms Planet, a national 501(c)(3) non-profit, she has developed programming, events and resources which have not only uplifted and inspired thousands of mothers, but also celebrated their amazing achievements. She is the creator of the “Smart Mommy” brand, a global movement that empowers mothers in business. Neferteri has been featured in The Huffington Post, BBC News, MSN Lifestyle, KIIS FM, and the cover of LA Weekly.
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