FRIDAY, June 22
Relationships come and go — but porn stars and dildos are always there for you. The organizers of Erotica L.A. contend that “this convention is becoming more and more mainstream and there is a significant increase in couples and women attending each year.” X-rated videos, the newest products from more than 300 exhibitors, Jenna Jameson and her ClubJenna girls, and “how to” workshops on such topics as “Threesomes 101” are just a sampling of the offerings. And if names like Jules Jordan and Savanna Samson mean anything to you, you know what to do. And you might win a free boob job! The Los Angeles Convention Center, 1201 S. Figueroa St., dwntwn.; Fri., June 22, 4-11 p.m.; Sat., June 23, 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun., June 24, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.; $35 per day; $75 three-day pass; tickets include $5 coupon. (818) 718-5788.
SATURDAY, June 23Forget trying to get Kids in the Hall tickets. Comedy lovers will flock to eight different venues on Hollywood Boulevard for the first-ever Latino Laugh Festival. Lots of names you know, plus plenty of new talent makes attending this three-day laugh attack a no-brainer. Some highlights: Latinologues with Ric Najera, a children’s variety show, Barbacoa Celebrity Roast at Ricardo Montalbán Theater, Cris Franco one-man show, Debi Gutierrez, Sandra Valls, Willie Barcena, Gabriel Iglesias, Carlos Alazraqui, N*gger Wetb*ck Ch*nk, and loads more. Fri.-Sun., June 22-24. For schedule: www.latinolaughfestival.com.
SUNDAY, June 24Jambalaya. Zydeco. Crawfish. Bons temps rouler-ing. You see where we’re going with this? Once again, Rainbow Lagoon becomes New Orleans, without the humidity or poor people (yes, that’s a joke — jeez), for The 21st Annual Long Beach Bayou Festival. The beer’s cold, the étouffée’s spicy, and the music is the real deal: washboards, concertinas, me-oh-my-ohs. C.J. Chenier, Kevin Naquin, Geno Delafose, and Li’l Brian & the Zydeco Travelers are among the top-notchiest of the genre. Plus Guyland Leday, the 7-year-old accordion player, who will also be giving a workshop. There’s also a blues stage hosted by Bernie Pearl with Candye Kane, Cafe R&B, Zac Harmon and more. Rainbow Lagoon, north of Shoreline Dr., Long Beach; Fri., June 22, 6-10 p.m.; Sat.-Sun., June 23-24, 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; $30, $25 in advance, $20 students & seniors; N’Orleans at Night pass Fri.-Sat., 6-10 p.m., $20. (562) 427-8834.
MONDAY, June 25Dave Alvin and I have something in common: We’re both fourth-generation Californians. For my money, he should be on the state flag — what has the brown bear given us recently? The Blasters, the Knitters, the Guilty Men and some supreme solo works — Dave Alvin is a local treasure, and whenever he decides to get the Blasters back together for live shows it’s a real treat. So why is somebody making a documentary on Bill Bateman? Find out at this fund-raiser for the doc featuring The Blue Shadows with Bateman, Javier Matos, Johnny Bazz, Dave Alvin and others. King King, 6555 Hollywood Blvd., Hlywd.; Mon., June 25, 9 p.m.; $12. (323) 960-5765.
TUESDAY, June 26Those folks who are never ones to run out of wacky ideas for new themes, local pushers of high-flying acrobats, masked Mexican wrestlers and risque burlesquers, are turning 15, and, naturally, are celebrating with Lucha Va Voom’s Precious Moments Quinceañera. They promise the first-ever “All-Girl Battle Royale,” and the chance to catch the birth of the new “Mini-Chicken.” Stripping teasingly will be Michelle L’Amour, Lola La Cereza, gender blender Karis, among other shakers. Machismo is provided by Sicodelico Jr., the Super Evil Chupacabra and Rey Scorpion. Blaine Capatch, Tom Kenny (he knows SpongeBob SquarePants), Dana Gould and maybe even Bobcat Goldthwait pay their respects too. The Mayan Theater, 1038 S. Hill St., dwntwn.; Tues.-Thurs., June 26-28, 8 p.m.; $30-$60. (213) 484-4488 or www.luchavavoom.com.
WEDNESDAY, June 27In my day, the only Buffy on TV had freckles and a twin named Jody. Wait — I just got a great idea for a Broadway musical: Family Affair: The Musical — with Dom DeLuise as Mr. French!!! But I digress. In the name of research, I tracked down a Weekly staffer under 30, who explained what The Buffy Musical: Once More With Singing! A Big-Screen Interactive Extravaganza is all about. “They did one episode of Buffy that was set to music, and it was wildly popular, and they put out a CD and the whole shebang. Looks like they are doing a sing-along.” By “they,” she means the Los Angeles Film Festival. Majestic Crest Theater, 1262 Westwood Blvd., Wstwd.; Wed., June 27, 10:30 p.m.; $11. (866) 345-6337 or www.lafilmfest.com.
THURSDAY, June 28“Rebel without a pause” Mort Sahl recently turned 80. If you’re one of his students enrolled in his upcoming course in critical thinking at Claremont McKenna College in Claremont, then you probably already have your tickets to All Star Sahl-ute: A Tribute to Legendary Comedian Mort Sahl with Shelley Berman, David Brenner, Albert Brooks, Jay Leno, Richard Lewis, Bill Maher, Kevin Nealon, token female Paula Poundstone, Jack Riley, Drew Carey, David Steinberg and Jonathan Winters, hosted by Larry King. Woody Allen appears on tape. The evening benefits the Heartland Foundation. Wadsworth Theatre, 11301 Wilshire Blvd., W.L.A.; Thurs., June 28, 8 p.m.; $100-$200. (213) 365-3500.
Ye Old Twilight Dance Series — our own free live music series that dares you to get across town during rush hour every Thursday this summer — on the Santa Monica Pier kicks off with The Ventures (!!). Santa Monica Pier; Thurs., June 28, 7:30 p.m.; free. (310) 458-8900.