Ah, cereal, that go-to, cozy foodstuff that never goes wrong, even when you're milk's about to turn sour like Mel Gibson at a bar mitzvah.

But one Azusa woman found out the hard way that not all bowls o' flakes are hearty and wholesome. No, she'll never be able to slurp those last drops of sugary milk the same way again.

That's because her husband, Fernando Porras, purposefully tainted her dinnertime breakfast:

She lived to tell the tale, and now the chef de poison is headed for 8 years behind bars, according to an announcement today by the L.A. County District Attorney's office.

Porras today pleaded no contest to a charge of poisoning with a special allegation that he could have killed his wife.

The special dining session happened Jan. 12, according to the D.A:

Porras poured “Goof Off,” a paint remover, into his wife's cereal on the evening of Jan. 12. The victim, who ingested a spoonful of the substance, immediately suspected that her husband was trying to harm her because the couple was having marital problems …

Mmm. Tastes like divorce.

The unidentified better half did not sustain permanent injury, according to prosecutors. A judge today wasted no time sentencing Porras to eight years.

He originally said the whole thing was an accident. As in, oops, I just tried to kill you.

Happens all the time.

[@dennisjromero / djromero@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]

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