Today marks the launch date of KFC's new Double Down Sandwich, a breadless creation of bacon, Monterey jack and pepper jack placed between two pieces of chicken. Fried chicken is clearly the suggested option, but you can get yours with (beef-laden) grilled chicken instead, just in case you happen to be on the Atkins diet and also hate your life.
Bloggers have been shaking their heads at this monstrosity for days, but in case you missed it, we wanted to make sure to tell you not to order it either. We also considered starting a class action law suit over the use of the word “sandwich,” which dictionaries define as “two or more slices of bread or the like with a layer of meat, fish, cheese, etc., between each pair,” but then we found another definition a little further down on the list. “Something resembling or suggesting a sandwich, as something in horizontal layers: a plywood sandwich.” So there you have it. If it resembles a sandwich, it is a sandwich.