Good thing we've been submitting ourselves to full-scale security rape at TSA checkpoints the nation over, all in the name of the War on Terror. God knows it's the only way to stop dangerous weapons in their tracks. With the exception of, uhhh, full ammunition clips — one of which was discovered on a Southwest plane flying out of the Bob Hope Airport in Burbank today.
Southwest spokesman Paul Flaningan told NBC Los Angeles that the clip was dropped accidentally by a licensed law enforcement officer who declared he had the clip on a previous flight.
Let's get this straight:
Officers are allowed to carry bullets in-flight, as long as they declare the little metal death mongers beforehand?
Seems to us that a full round of ammunition wouldn't be a very good combination with soldiers who are allowed to carry guns in-flight, as was allegedly the case on a flight heading home from Afghanistan last week. Seriously though, gun + ammo + post-traumatic stress disorder = fucking insecurity. And maybe the biggest TSA fail yet. (They might start by not recruiting officers from a pool of shut-ins vegging out on couches with marinara rings around their mouths. And by firing the drunk ones.)
Still, one by one, the people of America pass through humiliating I-can-see-your-naked-fat-rolls machines or, if they refuse, undergo groin-clocking hand searches. Guns and bullets might be cool with TSA, but bomb tattoos, urine bags, prosthetic breasts and innocent little girls are so not.
Just yesterday, in response to rumors of a Thanksgiving TSA protest, L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa — along with right-hand councilmember Janice Hahn — declared his undying love for the pervy scanners, letting his stunning figure be X-rayed (though he wouldn't show anybody) and exclaiming feverishly that “LAX is ready and willing to embrace them” — even “ to bring more of them!”
Coincidentally, second-best late-night talker Jay Leno referenced the Burbank airport's invasive TSA station in particular last night. (Warning: It's not funny, just relevant. The old dog even manages to trend Turkey Day!)
“Well folks, you can tell that Thanksgiving is almost here. It's in the air and I was over at Burbank Airport and I saw a TSA agent probing a guy with a turkey baster,” Leno said.
Har har. But really — how deep in shit does TSA need to bury itself before the government stops defending its good name? Soon, they'll seize our bomber jacket but let us keep the bomb.