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The Grammys are over (yawn) and many questions are left in the aftermath of the seemingly endless parade of music industry ridiculousness and overbearing cross promotional flotsam. Why so much country? Why don't Michael Jackson's Kids look like him? How can bands that have been around for ten years qualify as “new bands”? Is Pink really Gozer the Gozerian? Who picks this stuff? What would the Grammy winners look like if they were on Jersey Shore? We don't know the answers to many of these questions, but as for the Guido and Guidette-ization of these pop stars, we've got it covered.

Time to Jerzify!

Witness the horror after the jump, that is after GTL (Gym, tan, laundry).

Album of the Year: Fearless -- Taylor Swift

Album of the Year: Fearless — Taylor Swift

Song of the Year: "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" --  Beyoncé Knowles

Song of the Year: “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” — Beyoncé Knowles

Best Rap Album: Relapse -- Eminem

Best Rap Album: Relapse — Eminem

Best Electronic/Dance Album: The Fame -- Lady Gaga

Best Electronic/Dance Album: The Fame — Lady Gaga

Best Metal Performance: "Dissident Aggressor" -- Judas Priest, Rob Halford

Best Metal Performance: “Dissident Aggressor” — Judas Priest, Rob Halford

Best Solo Rock Performance: "Working on a Dream" -- Bruce Springsteen (as if he wasn't Jersey enough)

Best Solo Rock Performance: “Working on a Dream” — Bruce Springsteen (as if he wasn't Jersey enough)

LA Weekly