We've been criticizing DJ Magazine's Top 100 DJs poll for years now. For one thing, it's not a scientific determination of the most popular DJ. It's simply a dart board registering online votes. In the past there have been allegations of multiple-vote fraud. In most presidential polls, for example, a healthy sample size (1,000-plus respondents) of different ages, ethnicities and social classes is queried. In this case, it's a free-for-all — may the DJ with the biggest marketing budget win.
Some spinners have complained on Facebook that they've received sales pitches from marketing companies that want to launch $10,000-plus social media campaigns on their behalf. Yeah. So Funny or Die was on it when it came up with this spoof of the Top 100:
Their made-in-L.A. political campaign spoof asks, for example, if you really want to vote for Paul Oakenfold because the superstar once spun at Richard Branson's private island and “Branson wasn't wearing pants:”
Is that the kind of DJ you want in the Top 100?
Oakenfold also notes that he's played at the Hollywood Bowl twice as many times as the Beatles, and thus is “twice as good as the Beatles.”
Dillon Francis makes his pitch by asking, “Which DJ loves burritos?” Tiesto, he claims, who is also said to support the right to marry a burrito.
DJ Destructo, a.k.a. Gary Richards, creator of the Hard festival franchise, promises more Hard events, including Cinco de Hardo.
“Vote for me,” he says, “and I promise you'll never hear 'Levels' in my set.”
Alanis Morissette makes a pitch, noting that she's the only person in the running whose name you'd recognize anyway.
And Afrojack, who once bought a Ferrari 458 Italia and crashed it 45 minutes later, says buying fancy cars and crashing them is good for the economy. It creates jobs for mechanics and highway cleaning crews, you see.