If only every night were like New Year's Eve.
What with our vast distances, skeletal public transportation, and expensive cab and ride-sharing-app trips, Los Angeles is particularly susceptible to drunk drivers.
For one night a year, however, the stars align when it comes to after-hours transportation in L.A. There's no excuse for DUI on NYE:
The Metro transit system is offering free fares from 9 p.m. tomorrow to 2 a.m. Wednesday. This includes Metro Rail. Gates will be wide open at stops during that time, Metro says.
Of course, who goes home before 2 a.m? If you're a night owl, there will still be some public transportation. You'll just have to pay the $1.50 fare home.
Metro will provide all-night service on the Red, Purple, Blue, Expo, Green, Gold, Orange and Silver Lines, in addition to bus lines which normally operate late-night owl service. Trains will run at 20-minute intervals from 1 a.m. to 3 a.m.
Of course, if you're stuck with your car parked outside the party and you insist that you can't part ways with it, there's the best NYE service ever, Tipsy Tow.
For the 17th year, AAA of Southern California will take you and your car home. And the hours are more apropos of what really goes down on a party night: It will run from 6 p.m. Tuesday to 6 a.m. Wednesday.
The caveats: It's a one-way trip home. No party people can come with you. Longer trips mean you'll have to pay the driver's normal rate.
How to do it? Call 1-800-400-4AAA and say, “I need a Tipsy Tow.” Maybe save that number in your smartphone and practice those words first, just in case.
By the way, the cost of a DUI conviction these days is $15,649, up nearly one-third in recent years, according to the AAA.