Too bad you can't find “Cause you're evil/And you lie/And if you should die/I may feel slightly sad/But I won't cry” in a Hallmark card. Morrissey turned 51 last month, and you can wish him an unhappy, belated birthday at London Calling Productions' 14th Annual Smiths/Morrissey Convention , appropriately held this year during June gloom. Former KROQ DJ Richard Blade returns to host the various contests — look-a-like, name that tune and trivia. (Quick: What was Morrissey's last known/stalked L.A. address? 1498 Sweetzer Ave. So we've heard.) Four DJs will be spinning tunes to dance and cry to, while the merch booths peddle everything from T-shirts and bootlegs to hair accessories; a rockabilly girl's gotta have something to decorate her '50s retro 'do with. And back again is Dublin tribute band These Charming Men. Past conventions have included appearances by former Morrissey guitarist Gary Day and even Smiths founders Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce. And in 2008, an attendee, clearly not a real fan, proposed to his girlfriend onstage. If Morrissey can promise to die alone, so can he. =

Sun., June 20, 8 p.m., 2010

LA Weekly