You're an underpaid TSA security guard. Nobody likes you. Not even your own mother. How do you fill those eight hours a day? Picking out hot chicks MILFs for the notorious full-body x-ray scan, of course.

At least that's (sort of) this week's high-profile TSA gripe, this one coming from former Playboy model and ex-Baywatch star Donna D'Errico.

She says the unpleasant scan happened recently as she was headed to a flight to Pittsburgh at LAX with her 17-year-old son Rhyan.

“We were on our way to see Rhyan's aunt, who had just been put on life support in the ICU,” D'Errico told AOL News.

She was pulled out of line for extra screening, the 42-year-old says.

The former model claims that the TSA agent said she was picked for the special security measure “'Because you caught my eye, and they didn't,'” the agent said, referring to other passengers.

(D'Errico lists “men with foreign accents” as one of her turn-ons in her 1995 Miss September profile; maybe if the agent said it with a little Spanish spin she would have been less offended).

She said it was ironic because her boyfriend, who was en route to a different flight at LAX at the same time, looks like a typical terrorist. Seriously. She said that.

Random thought: The pick-up line of the 2010s, we predict, will be, “If I was a TSA agent, I'd select you for secondary screening because your body is so damn scannable.” Yeah.

She also said this:

” … It is my personal belief that they pulled me aside because they thought I was attractive … After the search, I noticed that the male TSA agent who had pulled me out of line was smiling and whispering with two other TSA agents and glancing at me. I was outraged.”

Way to flatter yourself D'Errico.

Frankly, even if we remembered you from Baywatch, which we don't, we wouldn't recognize the 40s version of you in a million years. But we're guessing this TSA scandal is getting you more press than you've received since Baywatch was cancelled and even German fans began to forget you.

Enjoy it. Because by tomorrow, it'll be gone faster than you can say “I was Miss September 1995.”

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.

LA Weekly