Last year Food Gadgets for Hipsters looked at the Bicycle Wine Rack. Its hipster quotient registered high scores, considering its lovingly crafted and carefully tanned leather straps would likely be used to cart around bottles of ironically cheap wine. Yet strap in a more expensive bottle and that score would plummet to levels so low you might as well be shopping for bike accessories at SkyMall, in earnest. These are the laws of hipster economics.
Our readers demanded something more reliably hip. A bicycle gadget so specialized and expensive that even the most costly beverage would still register as ironic. We searched, and found you that device. Presenting the Bicycle Can Cage by WalnutStudiolo, a $64 contraption of handcrafted leather capable of holding nothing more than a single canned beverage. Strap in a can of Pabst and you're unflinching hip. Feeling more like a tall boy? According to the our calculations (expressed cost of gadget/ cost of can), you're still looking extremely ironic.
Sure, the Bicycle Can Cage is not infallibly hip. The equation would fail if you were to buy a can of Carlsberg Jacobsen Vintage 1, for example, or any beer that costs more than Coachella tickets. But even then, the idea that you would choose to buy a $400 beer in a can when it also comes in a bottle is proof of your dedication to irony.