How can I tell my man to slow down or speed up without cramping his style in the bedroom?
I think that everyone should try to get what they want in the bedroom. The trick is to convey those desires without offending your partner or hurting his/her feelings.
Since what you're asking for isn't really anything out of the norm (you aren't asking for a mini gangbang with all of his co-workers, right?) I'd just give him some special dirty talk during sex.
You can do two things – you can change it up midstroke by telling him in your sexy voice, “I love it when you slide in and out of me so sloooooooow…”
Or you can wait until he's doing something that's really getting you off – perfect speed, perfect depth – and describe how much you love it, and how much it's going to make you come.
Just take care not to sound like a gym coach or first lieutenant barking orders.
Unless, of course, he likes that sort of thing.