Lately we've noticed a disturbing trend amongst our social networking invites. Along the onslaught of people you don't know haranguing you to join LinkedIn, there also lies an entirely different breed, friends i.e. people we go grab beers with etc., asking us to become their fans.

Not that we aren't fans of our friends (we are), but when people we know on a personal level are asking us to become a fan, or by definition an “enthusiastic devotee, follower, or admirer of a sport, pastime, celebrity, etc” it begs inquiry as to what exactly constitutes a “sport, pastime, or celebrity” in this day of instant and abundant fame.

A time-consuming search through Facebook pages reveals some of the dumb things you can become a fan of. And to save you clicking time, we've compiled some of the best here:

1. Becoming a Fan

A perfect example of why post-modernism is not just for smarties (there are like 500 of these) most with a picture of an actual fan as their profile image. Meh.

2. Not Being on Fire

Yeah, we're huge fans of not being on fire as well. See also “Not Having Aids.”

3. Music

The only person we have ever met who isn't a fan of “Music” is… wait, come to think of it we have NEVER MET ANYONE WHO ISN'T A FAN OF MUSIC.

4. Wiping Your Own Ass is Such a Pain in the Ass

This one speaks for itself.

5. Morgan Freeman's Voice

Honoring “the real star behind the star,” perhaps “Morgan Freeman's Voice” is, come to think of it, the only Facebook fan page that actually deserves to exist.

Note to Marc Zuckerberg:

Change the noun “fan.” Just because you want to publicly (the definition of public in this day and age is “searchable by Google” follow the activities of someone doesn't necessarily mean you're their “fan.” While there are plenty of reasons (SEO namely) why someone might want to have an accessible Facebook profile may we suggest the simple “pages”?

Because, while we're totally cool with “Wiping Your Own Ass,” we're wary of it getting it's own star on the the Facebook “Walk Of Fame.” But then again “Morgan Freeman's Voice” deserves every one of those 928,993 acolytes.

You can follow us on Twitter at @alexiatsotsis and @laweekly and become our “fan” here.

LA Weekly