FRIDAY, October 12
If your name meant “eaux de toilet,” you’d be more interesting too. You might even have a suave, pencil-thin mustache and be crowned “philosopher of filth and reigning king of bad taste” like John Waters, who’s in town for a one-night-only, one-man show titled An Evening With John Waters: This Filthy World. The director of Pink Flamingos, Hairspray and Polyester will dig into his own trashy history and maybe explain why he once said, “I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” Presented by Otis College of Art and Design. The Showcase Theater, 614 N. La Brea Ave., Hlywd. (sorta); Fri., Oct. 12, 8 p.m.; $20. (866) 468-3399 or www.ticketweb.com.
SATURDAY, October 13
Whoever said sarcasm is the lowest form of humor was absolutely, spot dead-on. Was Lenny Bruce sarcastic? Well, yeah, sorta. Steve Martin? Definitely sarcastic. Richard Pryor? Only when sober. Jerry Seinfeld became a gazillionaire off sarcasm. So there you have it: Sarcasm isn’t the lowest form of comedy. Jackass is. Michael Ian Black, actor, writer, comedian, director (Stella, The State, Ed, VH1’s I Love the ’70s series), and screenwriter of the upcoming Run Fat Boy Run film, apparently doesn’t know he doesn’t have to do standup anymore and has released a comedy CD called I Am a Wonderful Man that is dang funny, and he’s touring the country to prove it. The Ivar Theatre, 1605 N. Ivar St., Hlywd.; Sat., Oct. 13, 7 & 10 p.m.; $25. (213) 480-3232.
SUNDAY, October 14
To walk or to crawl? That is your choice for seeing a great deal of art this weekend. First up is Art Crawl X, the bigger of the art schleps. This one’s on the so-called Eastside and goes all weekend with bands, readings, VJs and site-specific installations, plus maybe even Viggo Mortensen. At galleries in Silver Lake, Los Feliz, Atwater Village, Echo Park; Fri.-Sun., Oct. 12-14 (kickoff party on Thurs., Oct. 11); free. Map & info at www.foundla.com/artcrawl.
Then there’s the far less hip Pico Artists at Work Festival, presented by the Pico Improvement Organization, with some 30 studios, galleries and businesses participating in “T-shirt making, live drawing, painting, smoke drawing, mask making, sculpting, photography, artistic hairstyling, poetry, glass-blowing, specialized sewing and garment making, pottery throwing, theatrical demonstrations, photo-painting and . . . wait, did I just type “pottery throwing” and “artistic hairstyling”? Forget that “far less hip” part. Pico is the ’vard for me! Pico Blvd. from Centinela to Santa Monica High, Santa Monica; Sun., Oct. 14, noon-5 p.m.; free. (310) 449-4477.
MONDAY, October 15
There’s one good reason L.A. might not be the overcrowded stinkhole some people think it is fast becoming (yeah, right): PJ Harvey is playing one of two shows (the other is in you-know-where) debuting songs from her new, largely piano-based White Chalk CD. Wow. The Orpheum Theatre, 842 S. Broadway, dwntwn.; Mon., Oct. 15, 8 p.m.; $47.50 & $53. (213) 480-3232.
TUESDAY, October 16
Film-festival programmer/film consultant Thomas Ethan Harris’ last “Navigating the Film Festival World Seminar” was such a success, American Cinematheque is following it up with another one, plus more seminars, plus more are on the books. As festival season approaches, filmmakers can learn “practical skills to navigating the world of film festivals to maximum effect.” Egyptian Theatre, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hlywd.; Tues., Oct. 16, 7:30-10:30 p.m.; $20, $15 students & seniors. (323) 466-FILM.
WEDNESDAY, October 17
Take a trip back — way back, 250 million years back — to when Earth had one giant landmass called Pangaea and countless shallow seas filled with sea monsters. National Geographic’s new film Sea Monsters: A Prehistoric Adventure 3D shows you the giraffe-necked Styxosaurus; the 12-foot “bulldog” fish Xiphactinus; and the super-badass T. rex of the ocean — the 40-foot superpredator Tylosaurus. The California Science Center’s IMAX Theater, 700 Exposition Park Dr.; daily, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; $4.75-$8. (323) 724-3623.
THURSDAY, October 18
And now a word from corporate rock: I was on my new Nokia N91 phone — the phone so smart it will make you new friends and your breath smell like apple pie. I didn’t mind being on hold, because my favorite Eagles song, “New Kid in Town,” was playing. Then came Little Feat’s “Dixie Chicken,” which reminded me that I needed new staples to fix my Dixie Chicks scrapbook. The last time I went across the street to Staples, the store, not the center, I made the mistake of getting the heavy-duty kind and they didn’t fit in the stapler I had at home. Boy, you’d think the item you buy at a store with the same name as the thing you are buying could never go wrong, but it did. I knew it the minute I opened the box for the first time. It took me six nights, though, to finish that damn scrapbook. I just hope I can get Natalie, Martie and Emily to sign it. At least I have six nights to try. Nokia Theatre L.A. Live, 777 Chick Hearn Ct., dwntwn.; Oct. 18, 20-21, 24, 26-27, 8:15 p.m.; $85-$265. (213) 480-3220.