You're flipping through the channels and all of a sudden — boing! — there it is. A major marital aid, all up in your bedroom.

Because going to your local porn shop is too shameful, the SoCal-based Lovers Shopping Network is coming to a channel all its own on DirecTV. Yep, you have channels dedicated to soccer, the military and now dildos.

What a country!

Yep, phallic devices, battery operated “massagers” and other things we can't live without will be beamed to 16.8 million households for your shopping pleasure.

The featured host will be Emily Bikini, who's featured on the C-level cable (KDOC) show Life in a Bikini. (We've seen it!). This is deep talent folks.

A D-list star is born: Emily Bikini.; Credit:

A D-list star is born: Emily Bikini.; Credit:

The network's website will featured uncut versions of Emily Bikini's appearances too.

The Lovers Shopping Network debuts this month. Don't touch that dial. Or anything else. At the same time.

Happy viewing.

[Xbiz – NSFW].

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