How would some of L.A.'s most interesting and influential people live their last day in L.A.? We find out in this series, which accompanies our Best of L.A. issue.

When I wake up, I'd go to Haus (3826 W. Sixth Street) and get a black coffee. I don't really do breakfast. Then I'd sit out on my porch. I'd roll a joint on my patio and look at all the hungover Korean girls in sunglasses and Ugg boots and shorts that say “Juicy” on the ass.


For lunch, my favorite spot is Chunju Han-il Kwon (3450 W. Sixth St.). I'd get kimchi stew, grilled mackerel and spicy pork. That's a heavy lunch, but I gotta go ham. Then I'd go to Pinkberry (3300 W. Sixth St.) and get frozen yogurt with Fruity Pebbles, nuts, strawberries and blueberries.

Later that afternoon, I might work on some music, but if this is the last day, fuck that, I don't wanna work on music. I know a lot of business owners in Koreatown — my boy Roy Choi is at the Line Hotel (3515 Wilshire Blvd.). I'd go visit him there. He's a K-town staple, so I gotta say peace up to the homie.

When night falls, I'd go to what I like to call the Bermuda Triangle of Koreatown, which is around the Sixth and Alexandria area. Café Bleu (3470 W. Sixth St.) is the bar. It's like the Cheers of Koreatown. Everybody knows each other. It's the real K-town spot, dive bar, completely sleazy. I'd order the kimchi pasta and hit on the bartenders and waitresses.

From there, I'd bar hop over to EsCaLA (3451 W. Sixth St.). Upstairs is Gaam, where the young Korean-Americans hang out, and that's where I go to hit on early-20s girls with ratchet blond hair and hoop earrings. I had to stop going there because once two guys passed by me and one said, “Hey, that's Dumbfoundead!” and the other said, “Yeah, he's always here.”

Then, I'd swing by Toe Bang (3465 W. Sixth St.), which literally translates into “throw-up room,” which is appropriate because it's a shitshow. That parking lot is filled with fights, drunk and jealous Korean boyfriends.

The final thing would be after-hours. Koreatown is infamous for after-hours. Drinks don't stop at 2 a.m. There's actually a spot called Gaam 2 (3309 W. Sixth St.), but it's not affiliated with the original Gaam. Completely different owner. Obviously, karaoke is the after-hours spots. I actually hate karaoke. I only go to get drunk more. Once you get a room, there's a thing called domies. This is very secretive Koreatown shit. Domies are escorts of all ethnicities, but they don't do any sexual things. They cost $150 for the night. They'll bring in five to eight gorgeous dimepieces and you get to choose which domie you want. Then she sits by you, feeds you fruit, pours you shots and flirts with you all night. I'd get two or three of my closest friends, buy all the domies and get really belligerent.

Last thing that everybody would do is eat Mexican food at El Taurino (1104 S. Hoover). That's the spot. Complete drunk food. I'd get a carne asada tostada or burrito. The red sauce there is the shit.

—As told to Rebecca Haithcoat

Dumbfoundead is a rapper and K-town celebrity. He once was a bail bondsman and recently popped up on lustworthy chef Giada De Laurentiis' Food Network show. He has dated at least three women who work at Café Bleu.

See what other incredible things our city has to offer in this year's Best of L.A. issue.

LA Weekly