We all know that on Christmas, pagans are at Alice Cooper's house, sacrificing chickens. But where do Jews go on Christmas? Where do all the people congregate who hate being molested by their Aunt Barbara underneath the mistletoe? Who will take in the lost souls of Christmas? Oh cruel world, is there not some comedy act that will take away their desolation? Well, if you don't have a religion or anywhere to go tonight, then you should head on down to Chop Schtick — a night of Jewish comedians and Chinese food — at Genghis Cohen. A six-year Los Angeles tradition, Chop Schtick will present singer-songwriter Eric Schwartz, hilarious Wendy Hammers (Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Emmy-winning comedian-writer Monica Piper. According to Hammers, “Being Jewish on Christmas Eve is like being single on Valentine's Day: You just feel a little out of it.” For whatever reasons you find yourself left out, Hammers and her fellow Hebrews will have you guffawing so hard, you'll forget all those people opening presents without you. Genghis Cohen, 740 N. Fairfax Ave., W. Hlywd.; Sat, Dec. 24, 7 & 9 p.m.; $25. (323) 653-0640, wendyhammers.com.

Sat., Dec. 24, 7 & 9 p.m., 2011

LA Weekly