Some might say that having too much action is a nice problem to have. After all, there are hundreds of studies that say having sex is healthy. But how much sex is enough sex? Moreover, how much sex is too much sex? — is there even such a thing?

Let’s find out.

How to Determine if You’re Getting Enough Sex Based on These Factors

It’s difficult to quantify how often you should do the deed with your partner. But if you’re here to find out if the sexy time frequency you’re getting sits right with you, here are things you need to consider:


At this point, it’s already common knowledge that younger people get the most action. According to Kinsey Institute, those who are in the 18-29 age range have an average of 112 sex sessions a year. And people between the ages of 40-49 get about an average of…ironically, 69 lovemaking sessions annually — there’s actually a good reason for this!

Unlike young adults, the older ones have much more ailments to complain about. The backache and knee pain many of them deal with? Those can affect the quality and frequency of sex they’d have. But body aches and pains are just one of the many reasons for the infrequent (or lack of) sex. There are also other chronic conditions that make sex less enjoyable as you grow older.


Speaking of age (as one of the factors why sex can become less enjoyable for the middle-aged demographic), hormones play a huge role in the varying libido levels among different age groups. For instance, women in their 40s and 50s are nearing the menopausal stage; therefore, women’s estrogen levels significantly decline as they age — but the lack of libido isn’t exclusive to middle-aged women.

Even younger women are vulnerable to hormonal changes. Depending on the time of the month, women will have different levels of sex drive — and most women feel that they’re more sexually aroused when they’re in their ovulation phase. But not all women can and should rely on their menstrual cycle to find out when sex is most enjoyable — some conditions might not line up with the cycle; like PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), endometriosis, stress, and many more.

Some men also deal with hormonal changes (and/or conditions). Their sex drive also declines as they age. Even though they don’t have to worry about menopause, men’s testosterone levels still decrease by about 1% every year — according to a few studies. But again, it’s not just aging men who go through drops in testosterone levels, some younger ones can also have hormonal imbalances (with or without underlying conditions).

Religion or Beliefs

Usually, when the topic of sex (and its frequency) is discussed, it’s the “How often?” and “How many times?” questions that are always asked. However, to some, they would rather answer the “why” first — why do they have sex in the first place? You may (or may not be) surprised to find out that it’s not just for pleasure — heck, it may not be about pleasure at all!

Many of those who follow certain conduct or teachings practice celibacy. And in some cases, even married couples don’t have sex unless it’s for the purpose of reproduction. To others who don’t adhere to a specific ideology, it’s just a matter of preference.

Time and Distance Away From Him/Her

This is a common problem that many couples face: they crave sex but they can’t have it because they’re in a long-distance relationship or because of their busy schedules. This, of course, could be another reason why there’s a lack of sexy time even though the libido and energy levels are there. But to other couples, it’s the last two that aren’t present once they finally have time for each other — you really can’t have it all, can you?

In some couples’ cases, sex is one of the main activities that they engage in all the time. Sometimes, to the point that it becomes (or feels like) a chore. When sex becomes a “requirement” to take part in, it can become less enjoyable.

So, Are You Getting Enough Sex?

The number of times you should be having sex ultimately boils down to how old you are, how healthy you are, and most importantly, — how happy you are. If you’re not satisfied with your sex life, and you think you’re not getting enough sex, you can discuss it with your partner. But you also have to be considerate about them and examine the same factors listed — but with them and their needs in mind.

On the other hand, if you think you’ve been too *busy* in the bedroom, ask yourself why you’re doing it in the first place. Is it for your own pleasure? Or are you trying to satisfy the needs of your partner? Or is it both? If you’re getting it on solely for your partner’s pleasure, know that sex is a two-way street. Unless there’s a deeper element that you’re masking through sex. If so, this, too, needs to be discussed with your partner.

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